What characteristics of the university are most appealing to you?
I attended a High School where often times I didn't receive the one on one help i needed . Often times leading to me not comprehending what was going on in class. This led to many confusing late nights. That's when i knew that i wouldn't be able to do this outside of High school. Which is why Lynn was my first choice. With Lynn's small class sizes, i am almost guaranteed that personal attention from my professors.
I've lived in the same small town for 17 years, and when I found out that Lynn was located in Boca Raton, I became really excited. Being Located so near to Miami's thriving city life ...
This isn't all of my essay, but these two ideas are what i wanted to branch my essay from, which one should i use, and how should i word things differently
Can you combine the two ideas? be like the town i come from does not offer me what i would like in terms of academics or activities. Lynn suits my educational and personal preferences/needs
I attended a High School where oftentimes I didn't receive the one on one help I needed. ---Always capitalize your 'I's and always put periods and other punctuation marks right up against the last letter of the word.
This would often lead to me not comprehending what was going on in class.
:)
A couple of ideas related to your current thoughts:
- The first thought: So I guess your whole point is about getting personal attention from Professors? But how exactly can this personal attention help you grow in terms of academia or career futures? You could say something like building up intimate relationship with top distinguished Professors at X College could help me broaden my network, and increase my chance to get an internship in my field. Or if you do sth related to science, knowing my Professors personally could help me earn a spot in his/her wide variety of research opportunities.
- The second thought, I would say maybe you dont wanna just stop at the city life? How is living a city life benefiting you? How is living a different life than you live for 17 years making any huge impact on your growth? Take a more closer look at what exactly the city life in Miami is, how it stands out from other cities' lives and small town's life? Be sure to address these things in your essay.
Good luck with your essay!
i agree with the comments above i think u should sentence combine and be more clear in ur points. So ur first point is that you weren't seeking the necessary help and by going to this institution you would get more help because of the small class size. Your second point is that you want to live in the city life. Please help with mine :)
Nice para, but focus onWHY LYNN? is it the academics? the campus? you could also mention the part that it is located near Miami a little later..
I like the idea about the fact that you will receive greater attention at the university though :)
Cheers!
