Hey! I'm applying to UWC in just a couple of days now, but I'm still stuck on this one essay. I'm just not entirely happy with it and am afraid that the first part might sound to scientific?
Hope there's someone out there who can help!
Essay 2: In the space below, please write an essay of not more than 300 words describing your background and family. Include an account of any experiences you have had in meeting people from other backgrounds than your own.
My name is Paula; I am a 16 year old Austrian-American living in Vienna with my older brother and my parents. On a stereotypical level I am a west-European hybrid born into a middle class family with a Judeo-Christian value system but without religion. On a personal level, my background is composed mainly of parental influence with some past personal experience mixed in.
My relationship to my parents is built on a lot of trust and I am very close to both. It is not only their actions, but also their opinions and stories, which have helped form my character and the person I am growing up to be. As they were raised differently, they have influenced me in different ways. My mother, who has never lived anywhere other than Vienna, is very settled and always lets me know that I belong somewhere. My father, though, grew up in seven different countries and it is due to him, that I not only feel at home in Vienna, the only city I have ever lived in, but also in the places that I have been lucky enough to visit.
Travelling, along with swimming, are the personal experiences with the greatest influence. Whether visiting relatives in Europe and North America, spending a month in Canada every year or participating in exchange programs, travel enriches me by providing fresh perspective. Last year, my class participated in an exchange with students from Istanbul. It made a huge impression on me and I look back on a week spent walking around Istanbul with my mouth and eyes wide open. Being in a country, whose language you do not speak, can be frightening. If you realize that you don't have to talk to understand each other and laugh, it can also be the most wonderful thing.
Being in a country, whose language you do not speak, can be frightening. If you realize that you don't have to talk to understand each other and laugh, it can also be the most wonderful thing.
whose doesn't match with your subject. Also, try adding in however before your If
