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Auto-presentation for the internet Platform "work away"

AskingAnna 1 / -  
Jan 4, 2017   #1
Hi there!
I'm going to go abroad after finishing school and for that I have to write something like an self introduction for the internet Plattform "work away". It does not have to be very formal but it should be correct in the use of language and grammar. I would be thankful for telling me about mistakes and other hints. :

self introduction for going abroad

"My name is Anna and I'm from Germany.
I'll be turning 18 in spring and shortly after I am going to take one's high-school diploma (A-levels).
In the future I want study therapeutic pedagogy for working with handicapped children.
But before that, I want to visit as many places as possible all over the world and get some more live experiences.

I love to travel, get to know other cultures and meet new people.
I'm an open-minded, friendly and uncomplicated person and not afraid of hard work.
Because of the early death of my father I've already learned to live on my own and assume responsibility since I was little. That's why I think my 18 Years won't become a problem.

I'm looking forward to get to know you!"

basohamdanianis 3 / 2 1  
Jan 5, 2017   #2
Hi Anna
You should add comma on In the future,

It is better from I love to travel to I love travelling


I'm an open-minded, friendly, uncomplicated person and hard worker

Keep spirit Anna
BiburLicek 1 / 3  
Jan 5, 2017   #3
Hello Ms.@AskingAnna
I have a few correction for you .

- "My name is Anna and I am from Germany.
- I will turn 18 in spring ...
- I am an open-minded.....
- Because of ... father ,(comma) i have already learned to ...

- That is the reason why I think at my age of 18 years is not a problem for me .

Thank you . Please do not use contruction in academic writing .
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,025 2715  
Jan 5, 2017   #4
Anna, this should be written in essay format. You are not writing a poem but rather an introduction to the reviewer. So trying to look poetic on paper is not the way to go. With regards to the content, you need to present it in a clearer and more straightforward manner such as;

Hi, I am Anna from Germany. Soon after I turn 18 this spring, I will also be taking my final A-Levels exam so I can get my high school diploma. I am not sure what my future will be like but I hope it includes something along the lines of completing studies in therapeutic pedagogy. Yes, I am interested in working with handicapped children because... That plan though, is still way far into the future. For now, I want to take a gap year to visit places all over the world. I want to travel and experience life because I believe that my life experiences will better prepare me for the demands and unexpected problems that college life may throw my way.

I have always been an open minded person who comes to life when I am interacting with other cultures and meeting new people. Having a friendly and uncomplicated personality has helped me survive in life. Even since my father died, I have needed to take on the responsibility of caring for myself, learning how to get along with other people, and also, succeeding in life without having to rely on anyone else. I know, you will think that an 18 year old isn't capable of doing that. It's not a problem for me though. My father died when I was still very young. So the scenarios I told you about are things that I learned to handle early on in my life. Being a young participant in this program is nothing to me. I know I can handle it.

Use my example above to help you develop a better presentation for your essay introduction or, use this for your application instead. I won't mind either way. Good luck with your application! I hope you get into the program.

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