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I'm an average suburban Caucasian girl; COMMON APP; DIVERSITY ESSAY.


sam0503 1 / -  
Dec 27, 2012   #1
PROMPT:
A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

Challenging Previous Beliefs

As I ponder how I add diversity, I think, I don't. I'm an average suburban Caucasian girl, who isn't a minority and whose race hasn't struggled for equal rights. But then I think again about diversity. Diversity is not confined to the sole limits of race; diversity can exist within the same race. Challenge Day made me realize this.

Everybody gathers in the gym, as anxiousness overwhelms us as we look around not completely sure of what Challenge Day is. The day starts with many activities that involve getting to know other people-- many of which I've gone to school with for so many years but yet they've remained a stranger to me. Then, the announcer informs us to stand in a line. This is it "the power line". We are supposed to cross the line if we have experienced what the announcer says. "Cross the line if you have ever been called a slut, a whore, been whistled at, catcalled, or been made to feel violated by a boy or man. Cross the line if someone in your family is an alcoholic... if you have ever felt unsafe in your own home...if you have ever witnessed someone being brutally beaten or killed" As I cross the line I see that many other people have been through the same hardships.

The people whom I have once viewed with indifference-- as strangers-- suddenly become more human, closer to me. I found myself questioning why we segregated ourselves into what may be called cliques. I realized that I shouldn't focus on diversity of other people or within myself, but rather I should focus on what brings us together and makes us similar. At the same time I realize that I am different; we have experienced the same hardships but have also been through different ones. Yes, diversity exists within every person, including me, but acceptance of diversity is the most important thing. Perhaps that's the diversity I would add to the college environment; I have learned to accept that everyone is diverse in their own way and that may be one of the hardest things to accept.
serdarovez 10 / 33 3  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
really good written, nice essay. It shows your passion and personality.

But some parts are a little bit wordy.

Cross the line if you have ever been called a slut, a whore, been whistled at, catcalled, or been made to feel violated by a boy or man. Cross the line if someone in your family is an alcoholic... if you have ever felt unsafe in your own home...if you have ever witnessed someone being brutally beaten or killed"

and i do not think that using this kinds of words is a good idea, make it sound little nicer :)

I wish i could write essays like this.

Good luck with your application,


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