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Nowadays, it cannot be avoided that the number of people gets the weight increase in many countries


Adhisti 20 / 19 2  
Apr 29, 2015   #1
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?


Nowadays, it cannot be avoided that the number of people gets the weight increase in many countries in the whole world. Besides, their levels of healthy condition and fitness are diminishing. These problems are caused by several factors, like unhealthy diet and malady lifestyle in society. Whilst these problem happen, I would argue that there are many ways to overcome it.

Firstly, the cause of the weight increase among people is unhealthy diet. People tend to choose fast junk food or well-prepared meal for instant time. This is owing to their crowded activities so that they have no much time to enjoy home-prepared meal. As an example, people are hungry, they directly go to restaurant to gain some meals and they do not care about nutrition and the amount of calories that they need within one day. In addition, malady lifestyle has affected their lives. Lack of exercise and habit such snacking over the limit make them do not realize the importance of health. As a result, their weight increases extremely without consciousness and brings many kinds of disease in the body.

However, there are ways to tackle those problems. People have to shift their bad habit by doing exercise three times a week minimally. Research shows that people who do some exercises routinely in a week will extend their life span and improve healthy life. Another way which people should do is consuming the healthy diet. They can choose organic meal to maintain health and they have to reduce or even avoid fast food in their daily lives. It is aimed to prevent the sorts of dangerous illness which spread out in the environment.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that consuming healthy diet and doing some exercise as a priority to improve health are the ways to decrease the weight or obesity of people and to keep health and fitness. People should recognize that health is the most important key in reaching and creating a successful life, without healthy condition people cannot do anything perfectly in their lives.

IqbalThemi 44 / 46 13  
Apr 30, 2015   #2
Let's me try to rework your introduction:

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?


Nowadays, obesity has been serious problem for some people in lots of countries. As such, many people believe that people's modern lifestyles exert adverse within people's health as people tend to do unhealthy died and malady lifestyle in their life. To tackle this problem, I would argue that being vegetarian and doing exercise regularly are the best way for overweight people to maintain their health.
kibz95 16 / 53 15  
Apr 30, 2015   #3
Hello Amelia,
I might sound very rude, but your essay is quite... confusing. Befuddling.
First, I would like to commend you for your introduction. You gave a small sentence explaining what and how the problem is affecting us, expressed that there are several problems within the problem we have, and then stated you will discuss and explain counter measures for it.

This is a neat introduction, but my confusion arose in second body...
You stated the in the intro and 1st body, the problems are 1) eating unhealthy diet ---> because people do not have the time to eat/prepare nutritious meals. and 2) malady(?) <malady is a noun... it's not an adjective.> lifestyle/ people not exercising... (you didn't state the reason why people aren't exercising or snacking badly...) and that was good. However, on the 2nd body, the paragraph you are supposed to present the counter measures, you barely stated logical or even plausible measures.

Another way which people should do is consuming the healthy diet. They can choose organic meal to maintain health and they have to reduce or even avoid fast food in their daily lives.

You say this, but you said on the 1st body that they didn't have enough time to eat such nutritious meals in the first place. There was nothing about what you declared as the problem being a problem and your countermeasure was simply, 'just eat healthy food'. There were little reasoning behind your countermeasures which is why I was very confused and unsatisfied reading this essay.

I strongly suggest you plan out your essay with logic and coherency.
Hope this helps.


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