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'not aware of the responsibility' - Common App Short Answer about volunteering


stars93 2 / 3  
Dec 26, 2011   #1
Hi,
I wrote an essay about my volunteering experience.
I have worked on it for hours and I hope you all like them.
Please be generous to make criticisms because I need them.
Thank you in advance.

Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 characters)

Simply signing up because of my counselor's suggestion, I was not aware of the responsibility that followed the duty as a member of California Scholarship Federation. After school, I went to ROCK, Reaching Out, Challenging Kids, to help the people who need to raise their grades up to be legible for school activities. Seeing them working after school everyday, I decided to help them the best way I can so that they can enjoy their high school years to the fullest. At first, I was anxious due to my verbal limitation. However, giving explanations of simple algebraic problems and getting to know more of my peers gradually resulted in a sense of achievement and a great boost of confidence in myself. Many times I see my friends whom I worked with, enjoying their time on the dance floor and cheering with their hearts out in the football field. Those moments make all the hours that I spent in the classroom worth my time, and I hope to continue to witness that I can be a great help to others.
ershad193 14 / 333 5  
Dec 26, 2011   #2
who needed to raise their

I can't find any fault in your essay. This is excellent writing -- simple, but effective.

Good luck!!
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Dec 27, 2011   #3
After school, I went to ROCK, Reaching Out, Challenging Kids, to help the people who need to raise their grades up to be eligible for school activities.

Seeing them working after school every day ,---two words here--- I decided to help them the best way I could so that they can enjoy their high school years to the fullest.

Many times I see my friends whom I worked with, enjoying their time on the dance floor and cheering with their hearts out in the football field.

:)


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