Thank you so much for your time! I've felt a bit iffy on this one for a while. Not sure what to do. Any input would be greatly appreciated, and don't be afraid to be harsh!
1. Founded in 1963, Pitzer College was built upon four core values that re-imagine the purpose of a college education in a progressively changing world. These values are social responsibility, intercultural understanding, interdisciplinary learning, and student autonomy. Almost 50 years later, our students feel that our founding values help prepare them to address the issues of their time. How do you feel these values will help you find solutions to the evolving challenges of your generation? (Maximum of 4000 characters)
Currently 573 characters over.
Unfortunately, it seems that one of the most significant challenges facing my generation today is an all encompassing lack of awareness, and a surplus of single-mindedness. What my generation lacks in awareness concerning our influence on environmental and socio-economical issues, we compensate for in ever-growing "me, myself and I" philosophies. I think the solution to this sort of phenomenon walks hand-in-hand with a Pitzer education.
During my overnight stay at Pitzer, I took a course on the development of third-world countries. The professor alluded to the truth that my generation generally empathizes with the turmoil of foreign countries to a degree, but finds it difficult to understand beyond a superficial level, or even become sincerely involved. I appreciated his statement, because I realized that being socially responsible and having the capacity for intercultural understanding is something more than donating a check for twenty dollars to the Peace Corps, or a can of tuna to a local food drive. It means looking beyond yourself, and maintaining a sense of social awareness. It means being conscious of where you purchase your foods from, or where your clothes are made. It means participating in community programs that support communities on the other side of the word. It means acting upon your desire to help, not just actively thinking about it.
I've always taken great pride in my ability to take action, to contribute, and to do so in a genuine and imaginative way - and in doing so, I believe that at least within my own community, I am helping to solve the ever-changing challenges of my generation. I've invested a vast amount of time in employing the activities offered at my school and in my town to make sure that I engage myself and promote a healthy, driven student body, always to the best of my ability - including captaining the Mock Trial team, starting an environmental club (we're already in the works to get our cafeteria utensils to go green!), and perhaps most significantly, serving as president of the Interact Club at my high school.
As president of a community service club, I decided to organize an information booth and fundraiser for the battle against homicide in Darfur at my school. By the time the Darfur campaign was over, we made a pretty decent donation, and many of my peers gained some insight into the true nature of another country's plights. The campaign itself led to a slew of future benefit concerts, garage sales, book sales, and donation stands for other charities. During that time I discovered something wonderful; it isn't all that difficult to contribute to your community in some small way, every day. It isn't all that difficult to be considerate and kind and courteous - and I believe I am exactly that. My mission this year has been to try to spread that message of reactivity and understanding to my peers, and I'm already utilizing Pitzer's chief values to do so.
We need to institute a wide variety of programs within schools to better a student's access to intercultural information. I believe in strong multinational history and world economics classes, in which students may be completely immersed in the conduct of other cultures from a young age. Oversea study programs should be highly encouraged - they give students an increased opportunity at learning to implement a holistic and global perspective in America. Students need to be encouraged to take part in a wide variety of courses in college - not only engaged in their own interests, but also in the interests of global awareness; so that a civil-engineering major may know of the collapsing state of India, and a theatre major may know of the dense expressionistic history of the Middle East.
Pitzer is my first choice of higher education, and this choice was made effortlessly because our values are already strikingly similar. The idea of becoming involved and taking on a socially responsible, understanding, community-oriented role has already become a reality for me. The conscientiousness and perspectives I have gained from being intrigued by the world and the way in which humanity functions have helped me to become a more proactive and unique person within my community, while simultaneously driving me to always become a part of something bigger than myself. I can't wait to become immersed in a diverse school and student body that share the progressive mindset I have today, because I know that the lessons I will gain by attending Pitzer will give me tools to change a close-minded generational way of thinking.
I am in the middle of finishing this essay right now, and let me tell you I know how you feel, it wasn't easy. That aside, I think you answered the question in a manner that is not only descriptive but personal at the same time.
Hi Julia, I'm sorry you had to wait so long for help! Better late than never? You can cut a lot of words:
Unfortunately, it seems that one of the most significant challenges facing my generation today is --- are an all- encompassing lack of awareness and a surplus of single-mindedness.
... hand-in-hand with a Pitzer education. (need another sentence here. Get to the point before ending the paragraph.)
In addition to cutting unnecessary words that weigh it down, you should change the first sentences of some of the paragraphs. The first sentence of a para should be a topic sentence that makes a statement that goes with the thesis, supports the thesis.
