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BABSON SUPPLEMENT: together we can grow


thevix 1 / -  
Dec 13, 2011   #1
BABSON SUPPLEMENT: Write a letter to your first-year roommate at Babson. Tell him or her what it will be like to live with you, why you chose Babson, and what you are looking forward to the most in college

Dear Roommate,
I am looking forward to meeting you but I already know one thing about you: you must be an ambitious and energetic person like me for having made it to Babson. For this I would like to congratulate you on your successful entry into one of the best colleges in the country: the second station of your life. I'm sure that you must have enjoyed a very successful stint at high school and are as excited as me to be here.

It is said that the next four years are going to be the most important ones of our lives and I look forward to sharing many memories with you and all the other people at Babson. By this time you must be wondering what I can offer you and the rest of the Babson community. Well, I come from a small town in India but I possess an insatiable thirst for knowledge while at the same time having a strong interest in getting to know new people. I'm friendly to everyone except ignorance. I am energetic, helpful and hard-working and strongly believe in a down-to-earth existence. My camping years not only taught me how to live in the wild but have also made me a more adjustable person, willing to make compromises for the good of other people.. My unique perspective shall definitely add to the rich diversity of the Babson community.

While searching for the right college, Babson particularly caught my attention because of its strong emphasis on diversity of the student population. I have a keen interest in getting to know people of different origins and realized that Babson was the right fit for me.

Babson is the best school for entrepreneurship in the country and shall essentially be a haven for me since anything related to business never fails to intrigue me. Also, Entrepreneurship has always been a subject of fascination for me since it involves a lot of responsibility and thus connects to my personality. Keeping its reputation in academic brilliance in mind, I also treasure the values that Babson stresses on: Integrity, diversity, innovation, collaboration and excellence.

Although my interest is mainly in business, I'm driven by curiosity and thus I'm always eager to learn more about other fields of knowledge. Therefore, I'm certain that we shall be able to bond easily over our interests.

I believe that life in its entirety is still a process of learning and I'm encouraged by Babson's promise to augment my skills and my character. I strongly believe that my unique perspective shall add to the richness and diversity of Babson and, in your company, I am certain that we shall both grow in our respective spheres-as a roommate, as a person and as the innovators of tomorrow.

Sincerely,
Vikram Kumar
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 13, 2011   #2
I did a small change here thinking it is more appropriate though your way is not bad ;
My camping years not only taught me how to live in the wild but have also made me a more adjustableadaptable and flexible person, willing to make compromises for the good of other people..

This is quite impressive writing and I like it a lot.
If I'm the one who's going to be your roommate, I would immediately picture you as a very serious, ambitous and studious guy by reading this letter. It is because of the style it is written. Is that how you intend to portray yourself?

Anyways.... this is a good piece of reading
.
gkim2719 - / 6  
Dec 13, 2011   #3
I only found a few grammatical errors but overall, nice job!

I'm sure that you must have enjoyed a very successful stint at high school and are as excited as meI am to be here.

Well, I come from a small town in India but I possess an insatiable thirst for knowledge while at the same time havingI also have a strong interest in getting to know new people.

I'm encouraged by Babson's promise to augment my skills and my character. Augment doesn't seem to be the right word here, how about nurture? or enrich?
lee235717 - / 16  
Dec 22, 2011   #4
"I'm friendly to everyone except ignorance"
Ignorance means having a lack of knowledge. From the sentence it seems as if you are unfriendly towards the underprivileged. Your essay looks really similar to another Babson Supplement that is posted on Essay Forum. Be more original.
MikeMrtno 1 / 4  
Dec 31, 2011   #5
Instead of ignorance, do you mean arrogance? This would make alot more sense to me. I think it should read "I am friendly to everyone except to people who are arrogant".


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