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"To get my Bachelor's Degree in Digital Media" - Why UCF?


furya21 1 / 4  
Jul 23, 2011   #1
Essay: The personal statements are a very important part of your application. They assist the university in knowing you as an individual, independent of test scores and other objective data. We ask that you respond to two of the topics below. Your personal statement should be no longer than a total of 500 words or 7000 characters for both statements combined. The best personal statements are not necessarily the longest ones.

3. Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

Before entering high school, everyone from peer to principal, had advised every student not to wait until senior year to decide on a college. As a 7th grader, I thought I had more than enough time to decide. Eventually, middle school ended and by my sophmore year, I realized, "I don't know what college I want!" My anxiety only deepened after hearing my closest friends brag about UCF, USF, UF and other combinations of the alphabet. I'm accustomed to always feeling like I'm on a different frequency from the rest of the crowd. But I was unable to understand why I hadn't chosen a college yet. I was more than 100% sure I wanted to study Graphic Design and Animation. It was the thought of trying to choose the perfect school that shook me to my core. Or rather, ending up at a school that wasn't right for me at all and squandering time and money on a complete failure of a choice. However, if I hadn't signed for the gaming magnet at Oak Ridge HS, I would never realize all the choices I had on my plate. The gaming magnet is a program that teaches students about video games, the history behind the business, basics, programming and how to start and create their own games. The program also gives students a chance to take a tour at not only colleges, but major game developers as well, like Electronic Arts. I had taken trips to Valencia and Orlando Tech, but it was my recent visit to the Florida Interactive Entertainment Academy that captivated me like no other school could. There I was able to explore the halls and many rooms dedicated to video game development and programming. Being able to see all the work and progress, all the designs and rough drafts and getting to do hands-on testing of student projects gave me the kind of chills that are sweet to the heart and bones. Everything about FIEA exihilirated me.T hat day that I decided my destiny lies in this school.

Please give me any critique that you feel I need. Any rearranging, misspellings, suggestions, improvements, anything at all.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 25, 2011   #2
Tulili, I love your writing style, but I do not love the focus of the first part of the essay.

The reader does not need to hear about how you panicked, how you were slow to choose a school. I think the essay should begin here:

I am more than 100% sure I want to study Graphic Design and Animation. It was the thought of trying to choose the perfect school that shook me to my core. Or rather, ending up at ...

What is the reason you choose this school? Is this the reason: my recent visit to the Florida Interactive Entertainment Academy that captivated me like no other school could.

Make the reader understand that you have a real plan and that you want to carry it out. Make the reader understand that you can carry out your plan in the best way if you attend this school. Show the reader that it is important for you to atend this school rather than some other school. :-)
OP furya21 1 / 4  
Jul 25, 2011   #3
Thanks kevin for all your advice but I'm having trouble understanding your last bit at the end. I think I understand; that i should convince the reader that i have some brilliant plan or something but i don't really know how i can do that..

other than that you helped me alot!
trudeaca 2 / 5  
Jul 26, 2011   #4
Much better!! Fix this last sentence: T hat day that I decided my destiny lies in this school. (That day, I decided my destiny lies in this school).

As far as what Kevin was trying to say, (correct me if I've misinterpretted) I think he is implying that your statement focuses more on your search for the right school and your fears of finding the wrong school and less on why you think FIEA is the best school for you.

Nobody expects you to have a brilliant plan, but if you go into more detail about what captivated and exhilirated you, it would have greater meaning.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 27, 2011   #5
that i have some brilliant plan or something

Well, I am not asking you to do something that is impossible. It's like this: You might be a student who does not think about the future very much, or you might be a student who feels very passionate about something and therefore does a lot of reading about the subjects of interest.

If you read insatiably as the result of caring deeply about something, then you will automatically have a plan that includes several goals. You will be hurrying to achieve those goals that come as a result of the reading you have been doing. It's all about the reading.

So far, all you did was say you want to get involved with creating video games, but why? Could it be because you mistakenly think making games will be as fun as playing them? Or is it because of something that is truly important to you as an artist? Give some sentences that will make me believe that you really know what you want to do.

Otherwise, I will favor the applicants who are acting on a philosophy of life, a real commitment to something you think is truly important. If you represent an important concept, you will BE important, and the reader will favor you.


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