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Bachelor's in health science/ Cancer patients; REASONS FOR TRANSFER/OBJECTIVES [USC


elizd04671 2 / 5  
Jan 28, 2013   #1
I have always heard great things about USC; it is highly known all over. Graduating from USC is what I have wanted for a very long time. I was raised in Arizona but lived in California when I was about a year old. I always knew I would return to California and I finally did. Getting into USC would be the cherry on top. I want to transfer to USC because I know this school will give me the knowledge and skills I need to be a great professional. I want to be a part of an amazing school; be amongst the alumni at USC and have the opportunity to say that I graduated from there. I am the first, in my immediate family, to have an Associate's degree; to go to an undergraduate school would be a great accomplishment. I know I have the potential to do huge things in life.

I plan on getting my Bachelor's in health science in order to get into the Master's program to become a physician assistant at USC. I enjoy helping others, especially those in need. Life is cruel at times but that is life. All one can do is be there for others, as one would want someone to do for them. Becoming a physician assistant would allow me to help other people but at a larger scale.

I would eventually love to work with young cancer patients. Cancer is a viscous disease that slowly but surely deteriorates people. I have lost family to cancer, I have family who are still fighting cancer, and I have family who has beat cancer. There are many routes I could take with being a physician assistant but working with cancer patients would be quite humbling; it would constantly remind me to cherish what I have, enjoy life, and not take things for granted.
mashunya89 - / 2  
Jan 28, 2013   #2
Do you mean family members, when you write family in this sentence:
"I have lost family to cancer, I have family who are still fighting cancer, and I have family who has beat cancer."

If yes, than you should state that.

Overall, I liked it, but the beginning is too vague.

Why is USC amazing? what is so distinctive about it? whats is known for?
courtney24601 3 / 3 3  
Jan 29, 2013   #4
My suggestions and corrections are in (). Overall it is good, but you should review your grammer regarding comma's and semi colons - you use semi colons too often, and you leave out many commas. Aslo, try to vary USC, instead of saying USC over and over say the full college name of a nick name. Last, talk more about how great a school USC is and that is a reason you would like to attend.


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