Ten years ago I had only my destination, with a
large heavy ambition to succeed.
large and heavy are not the best modifiers for ambition. You could simply say "great"
Temple has given me my degree and 4 years of knowledge and resources in abundance and an environment where I
Learning gives you what you need to make your goals possible. Remembering your past is how you prepare for you future.
I think these two sentences are very general and not well connected to the rest of the paragraph
When I look at my past, I realize how closely I measured all of my decisions and outcomes, and in particular , how closely they kept me going the direction I wanted to be going.
Again very general, it doesn't tell anything about you.
I think this essay could be much better in that it should address to the prompt. The prompt is very specific: "write a one-page essay about your personal and professional accomplishments since graduation". You say almost nothing of what your essay asks you: what path (profession) have you chosen, what have you achieved till now, what are your projects for the future, maybe specifically how a great department of this University has taught you the main things your present is based upon.
I hope I helped. Please,could you take a look at mine?