Columbia appeals to me because of the amalgam of many backgrounds and minds from all over the country to all over the world in a rigorous academic environment that fosters creative thinking. Because of the thousands of applications Columbia receives, admission is competitive. For me, however, I do not see it as competitiveness alone. It is true that there are many people vying for the same spots but I see this as more of an opportunity. Columbia represents a place where anyone with sound academic interest and passion can come to learn and benefit the world. With so many talented, well-rounded people who excel not in just the humanities but also in science and vice-versa applying, I feel inspired to improve my grades, gain knowledge of subjects and learn about the different perspectives and visions others have. With world class faculty and the largest Nobel laureates , ranging from economics to physics, of any institution, Columbia compels me to seek knowledge, assimilate into a rich and diverse urban lifestyle, and improve my overall standing as person in society.
Look over my essay please and check for errors (grammatical, content...etc). Thank You!!
I think you should leave it as it is.
It perfectly explains why you want to go to Columbia and it is absolutely not monotonous
Really? Wow that is the first time I've heard that
I've edited what you've written (below):
Columbia appeals to me because it is an amalgam of people with different backgrounds and minds from all over the world that coexist in a rigorous academic environment that fosters creative thinking. Because of the thousands of applications Columbia receives, admission is competitive. However, I view the application process not so much as a competition, but rather as an opportunity. Columbia represents a place where anyone with sound academic interest and passion can come to learn and make significant contributions to the world. With so many talented, well-rounded people who excel in several academic fields applying to the university , I feel all the more motivated to improve my grades, gain knowledge of subjects, and learn about more about the perspectives of others. With world class faculty and the many Nobel laureates that have graduate from and taught at Columbia, I am compelled to seek more knowledge, assimilate myself into a rich and diverse urban lifestyle, and improve my overall standing as a person in society.
Overall, I think your on the right track, but there is a slight amount of vagueness that is throwing me off. I think you need to re-focus the essay on why you specifically want to go to Columbia, and just any other college. It seems to me like half the essay if how you want to improve yourself, rather than the specific qualities of Columbia that can help you do so. I would recommend doing a little more research on the finer details of the school, so you can talk about what specifically draws you to Columbia. I know sometimes its hard, as I am having the same trouble with my Why Duke? & Why Northwestern? essays. To check your essay for content, simply erase COLUMBIA and replace it with the name of another random school. If the essay still works, then it's not really school-specific (enough). Don't let my words discourage you, you're almost there! Best of luck! =)
Thanks so much and I understand what you are saying. I replaced Harvard with Columbia and you were right, I need to be more specific. Good Luck on your Duke and Northwestern Essays as well and if you want I'll gladly read them. Thanks Again!
Columbia appeals to me because it is an amalgam of people with different backgrounds and minds from all over the world that coexist in a rigorous academic environment that fosters creative thinking. Columbia University echoes the atmosphere of New York City itself. The campus is not just New York City alone because Morningside Heights has its own unique campus feel, however, the representation of the values of a New Yorker is evident at Columbia. There is no typical Columbia student because each student is unique in his or her own way and each contributes to a grand mosaic of diversity much like how each New Yorker is unique and is able to follow his or her passion. Columbia receives thousands of applications and admission is competitive, yet I view the application process not so much as a competition, but rather as an opportunity. Columbia represents a place where anyone with passion can come to learn and make significant contributions to the world. With so many well-rounded people who excel in several academic fields applying to the university, I feel all the more motivated to improve my grades, gain knowledge of subjects, and learn about different ideas. With world class faculty and the many Nobel laureates that have graduate from and taught at Columbia, I am compelled to seek more knowledge, assimilate myself into a rich and diverse urban lifestyle, and improve my overall standing as a person in society. Columbia offers me more to pursue my dreams than anywhere else.
Is this better? I tried to squeeze it under 1500 chars so I may have made grammatical mistakes or my wording might be verbose. Please take a look. Thank You :)
I feel like you need to go through and add some voice to this- for some reason when I read it I picture the professor from Ferris Bueller's Day Off reading this in a monotone. Maybe try adding a personal anecdote in there somewhere so that it relates more to you?
