Back in the primary school, I did not pay much attention in class and had most of the time my mind elsewhere, as a result I got bad grades in homeworks as well as exams and made my parents and my teachers upset, that is why I felt ashamed all the time,I was not that stupid but I might have had a different learning style and could do much better than that. With a bit of effort, I got good focus skills and turned things around. I have then realized I can make great progress in my life.
"Back in the primary school, I did not pay much attention in class and had most of the time my mind elsewhere, as a result I got bad grades in homeworks as well as exams and made my parents and my teachers upset, that is why I felt ashamed all the time,I was not that stupid but I might have had a different learning style and could do way better than that."
This is one long run-on sentence and the reader loses his place while reading it. End it after every few thoughts. A period after elsewhere, upset, and time. Re-word it to make it more clear, and remember to use correct grammar and tenses.
"I got bad grades ON my homework as well as my exams"
"I felt ashamed of myself all the time"
"I would've benefited from unconventional learning styles"
I also take issue with the fact that you are basically excusing yourself out of answering the prompt. You are not talking about a time you challenged yourself academically- say, taking an honours or AP or IB class, or a class you don't understand well like advanced math- you are simply commenting on feeling academically challenged, and they are two very different things.
If you would like to keep it, I suggest a re-write of your thoughts and the above notes, but overall, I suggest a complete re-write to better answer the prompt.
thank you very much avenged7fold
" Back in primary school, I did not pay much attention in class, and had most of the time my mind was elsewhere.
As a result, I got bad grades on my homework as well as my exams and made my parents and my teachers upset that .
That is why I felt ashamed of myself all the time.
I was not that stupid, but I might have had a different learning style and knew I could do much better than that.
With a bit of effort, I got acquired good focus skills and turned things around.
I have then realized I can make great progress in my life."
:)
Hi, thank you all,
thank you EF_Susan, for correcting my essay, i'll need ur suggestions for some other essays ,
sincerely
