I will point out some grammatical issues for you:
When I decided
I wouldto major in computer science, I began looking for ...
Your College of Computing is appealing to me for this reason, but what makes it great
Additionally, GIT has a few clubs that interest me like the Pottery club where I will be able to exercise my creativity doing something I love, and the Equestrian team which will help me
to continue a sport I have participated in for 6six years, among others that also caught my eye.
Hey, I'm quite familiar with GT having been born near there and having quite a few friends who attend, so I think my advice will be really relevant.
Georgia Tech prefers being called GT, not GIT, and you will never hear anyone within GT call it anything other than Georgia Tech, GT, or Tech - so try to refrain from calling it GIT (petty, but a lot of schools seem to dislike this i.e UPenn prefers to be called just Penn).
Don't use 2nd person (your).
Try not to mention things like resume or career because it makes it seem like you are chasing after prestige which, even though most students are, is frowned upon.
The prompt says to refrain from mention athletics, so you should remove the bit about the Equestrian team.
And overall, I would say that your essay would be a lot better of by focusing on one thing about GT that you are really excited about and to write deeply about that, than to spread yourself thin by simply mentioning things that are great about GT. For example, you might talk about your great interest in computer science, and transition that into how great their modeling and simulation thread is, and what you might expect to do in there and what you might contribute to it. Right now, I feel that your essay is just a simple listing of things of why you want to attend GT rather than an essay.
You can also look to this essay for some advice that I and Louisa had for the student's essay to GT (essayforum.com/undergraduate/git-short-response-max-words-georgia-tech-64566/). Here too, we advised that the student make their essay more focused and specific.
Hope this helps!