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' The ball was my sole target' - UC 2. Perseverance in the face of adversity


simplymeilin 2 / 5  
Nov 27, 2011   #1
I am not confident with that my essay contains the strength it needs. Are there any advice that you guys can give to give it more strength? Some constructive criticism will be nice :) Thanks for taking your time and helping in advance. :)

UC Prompt 2
"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"

The sun's vibrant rays licked my tanned skin as the warm air brushed my cheeks. I waited at the baseline, preparing to return a grueling serve, while my partner stood at the service line, bouncing on the balls of her feet, ready to attack. The opponent, the number one seeded doubles team in the district, tossed the lime-green ball against gravity, pulled her racket back, and in one fluid motion, hammered the ball with the force of her entire body. The third set, a test of resolve, had begun.

Playing the last match of the season, I was determined to persevere in the face of adversity. I would not give up until the final point was claimed. Each point was vital to the game, each game was vital to the concluding set, and each set was vital to the deciding match.

The ball was my sole target. In order to shave a tenth of a second from the time it would take for me to reach the ball, I had to constantly move my feet. My toes were trained to prevent my heels from scraping the clay court, an act that was as natural as blinking. Once the ball left the racket of my opponent, I pursued it like a ravenous cheetah chasing its soon to be dinner. This continued for a strenuous hour but I continued with a focused mindset, maneuvering the ball at an unreachable angle. I strived to be on the offense, keeping my opponents struggling to keep the ball in play.

Throughout the match, the sun was my constant spectator. It observed the match with rays of intensity, never leaving the site. The scorching heat it exuded negatively affected my stamina, and I eventually grew tired. Physically tired but mentally strong, I remained firm and pushed myself beyond boundaries that I did not think I was capable of entering.

It was an amazing match. Even though I lost the match, I realized that I was the true victor. I gave the match all the energy I was capable of conjuring and then some. I showed myself that I was capable of accomplishing anything through perseverance.

With great perseverance comes self-satisfaction. Only when I give a challenge 100% will I then be able to reflect positively. Furthermore, tennis showed me that a determined mindset and firm persistence towards a goal could be applied to other fields, such as academics. Whether it's perseverance through a challenging project or physical tiredness, I will strive for my goals, looking back only with content that I gave my best effort.
sumersinha 2 / 9  
Nov 28, 2011   #2
I think you can expand on how you kept on playing despite being too tired. Otherwise I think it's a really good essay!
You explain really well what's happening in the game. I can't really find out any mistakes but I'm not that good at english so idk.

Only when I give a challenge 100% will I then be able to reflect positively (No need of then)


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