Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 6


"BALLS UP," his voice echoes through my ear canals ; Essay on tennis


vip747 4 / 18  
Jul 27, 2009   #1
Bellowing from courtside, as I scurry to the sidelines of court one, clumsily trying to put every ball back into the crate. Attempting to regain composure, I stand tall, my hands gripping my racket securely, maintaining an intense gaze into the fiery eyes of my determined coach. He quickly explains to us the next drill, before prompting us back to begin practicing.

The first time I picked up a tennis racquet was that first day of practice back in freshman year. I had assumed that most kids would be like me, first-time tennis players. However, I was quickly proven wrong as the top varsity player hit speeding balls that flew by me. After the end of that practice I felt horrible as I realized that I was probably the worst player on the team. Heading inside to return to the locker room, Coach Smith gave us his annual "first day of practice" speech. He told us that he was not going to make any cuts. Instead of kicking us off the team for our inability to play, he told us that he wanted us to stay and become better tennis players by learning from the members of the varsity squad.

Surprised by this statement, I realized that he had given me a chance to improve my tennis skills, and prove myself as a competitive tennis player. At each practice I poured my heart and soul into improving myself. I spent the rest of that first season sitting on the bench. However, as a sophomore, I was accepted on to the team.

My racquet became my pencil and Mr. Smith my textbook. At each practice I refined my techniques, wanting to become like the varsity players who had graduated, the ones Coach Smith always talked about. I became caught in a frenzy, spending every moment of every day anticipating endless hours of grinding pressure that resonated from the courts. The enormity of each match I played grew as the season forged on. I played doubles with one of the upperclassmen, whose guidance and patience on the court inspired the confidence I lacked as the newest addition to the team. On my own, I practiced at the courts near my house, sometimes staying out so late that I would miss dinner.

Emerging from my shell as a beginner, I rapidly improved my skills. Confident in the experience of my coach, I opened my mind to different perspectives on a sport that I thought had only one given approach. Coach Smith pointed out the players who had wasted almost half a decade under his wing, learning little from what he had to offer. It was then that I recognized my vast, yet fragile potential for growth under him. At every practice I could see my own skill improving as I started to win more and more matches. Qualifying for the Greater Middlesex Championship, I realized that I was becoming the very role model that I had once looked up to.

As I progressed through high school, my tennis career did, too. When junior year approached, I found myself fighting for a varsity spot. I accepted more responsibility for the team and felt an increased commitment to the sport. Though I am still no where close to a champ, I feel very comfortable with my significant improvements and appreciation for tennis. This is one game I am sure I will continue to participate in and relish for years to come! Tennis makes me feel alive, vibrant and passionate. I lose myself in the game completely and, for that period of time, nothing else exists. Tennis drives me to excel both on the court and in the classroom. It has taught me the meaning of hard work and resolve.
Notoman 20 / 419  
Jul 27, 2009   #2
You have a nice writing style and some very vivid imagery here. I'd like to see a little more of a progression. I feel a little lost in the timeline because it bounces around. I'd rather see you start as clumsy and insecure and then morph into someone who is confident and accomplished.

A couple other small notes . . .

his voice echoes through my ear canals

This isn't bad. This isn't wrong. I personally didn't like the imagery though. With his voice echoing through your ear canals, I picture that space between your ears as being cavernous and vacuous. Not the best mental picture! The juxtaposition of a voice echoing with the more scientific description of an ear canal didn't work for me either.

fragile potential for growth under him

Now this was another mental picture that I didn't want. It would be better to write something about your potential for growth under his tutelage rather than potential for growth under him.
OP vip747 4 / 18  
Jul 27, 2009   #3
Notoman: I'd rather see you start as clumsy and insecure and then morph into someone who is confident and accomplished.

I wrote a paragraph how I first started playing tennis in freshman year, and that compared to the varsity players, I was essentially useless. Should add something more to this paragraph?

I've also added this change:
fragile potential for growth with his knowledge
Notoman 20 / 419  
Jul 27, 2009   #4
Not necessarily add to the paragraph, but establish a little clearer of a timeline. I understand that you were new at the game as a freshman and morphed into an accomplished player, but I feel like the chronology isn't quite there. I really thought that you were not going to make the cut your senior year, but you were going to show perseverance and dedication by still participating with the team in the role of manager. That impression probably came from seeing the dedication to the sport, but not feeling the progression of ability.

Let me see if I can explain what I mean a little better . . .

1st paragraph: You are new to tennis, you suck, and you feel discouraged. Luckily this is a no-cut sport.

2nd paragraph: You are determined to learn the game even though you never play a match your freshman year. As a sophomore, you make the team.

3rd paragraph: Tennis consumes your life. You think about it nonstop. Playing with an older/more accomplished player betters your game.

4th paragraph: You emerge from your shell as a beginner and become a role model to the rest of your teammates. Your coach is the best and you listen to everything he has to say. You qualify for the Greater Middlesex Championship even.

5th paragraph: You are fighting for a spot on varsity. Whoa! I thought you went to the championships and were a role model now. Are you still that emergent beginner with fragile potential or someone who is so passionate about the game that dinners go uneaten.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jul 27, 2009   #5
I'm wondering for what purpose and audience you've written this very engaging narrative.
OP vip747 4 / 18  
Jul 29, 2009   #6
I actually wrote it as a college app essay on my dedication to tennis.


Home / Undergraduate / "BALLS UP," his voice echoes through my ear canals ; Essay on tennis
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳