Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


'Bangladesh and the beauty of our solar system' - Common app essay


rezwan3 7 / 19 4  
Nov 6, 2012   #1
Raised in an environment of the English culture and academics while living in Bangladesh, I grew up as an individual with multicultural perspectives. Those very perspectives became the vertebrae of my personality and shed light to my shadowy dedication towards universe's beauty and the science that governs it. Fueling this dedication and establishing itself as the heart of my personality, was the American educational system.

The British educational system was quite different and unique in the sense that it provided rigorous effort and providence in the path of success. Each year, we would have science fairs where students would compete against each other with a project establishing a scientific principle. In my early years, I was just a mere spectator of those projects as I was too young to take part in it. Then one year, I came across a project about the solar system and how it is arranged. Awestruck and stunned by the beauty of our solar system, I became extremely curious of how these marvelous objects are the way they are.

The British educational system emphasizes a lot on math and science: making us take 3 to 4 science classes each year. So, as time went by I got more and more engaged into science: going on science trips, taking a number science courses and getting involved in my yearning science fairs. During my first science fair, I did a replication of the very solar system that stunned me and was awarded first prize. Then as time went by, my science fair projects got more and more complicated in respect to my increasing inclination towards science.

However, these science classes and fairs only gave me a perspective that can only be described as "the visible side of the moon". The other dark side of the moon was revealed to me when I first came here in the United States in 2010. For me, the difference in the educational systems were stark. However, the final boosts of inspiration were provided right here in the United States
Leah_Writer - / 46 4  
Nov 6, 2012   #2
I like this, and I think it's a great beginning to an essay, but you need to tell the reader more about you! What else has inspired you, once you got to the US? How will you take your inspiration further with you into college? Remember, the reader of this essay wants to get to know you, so try to convey your passion and interest in the things you are curious about or want to study or do with your life. Good luck!
futurecolumbian 2 / 5 1  
Nov 22, 2012   #3
I think the your introduction is very nice. It is succinct and shows diversity. However I agree Leah_writer, you should write more about your personality and put a bit more you in it. You explained the educational system of UK and USA very well and I think you should mention the difference between these two educational systems but not quite so elaborately. Write more about your experience in USA and how you managed to adapt to such a different environment than from the one you were brought up in. I'm also a Bangladeshi so yes, I know how big the cultural differences are between USA and Bangladesh. :P

good luck! :)


Home / Undergraduate / 'Bangladesh and the beauty of our solar system' - Common app essay
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳