'In Bangladesh...' UofM Essay#1 Everyone belongs to many different communities...

Plz tell me what you think.I think i am a little over 250 words(around 269).Be harsh if need be :)

In Bangladesh, people share common beliefs, culture and of course religion.Posing as much an influence on people as the culture itself, religion seems to be the glue that adheres Bangladeshis together as a united nation.The majority are Muslims with Christians,Buddhists and Hindus following suit.

One of the many facets that sets Bangladesh apart from other countries is its unprejudiced demeanor towards both Muslims and non-Muslims.There is no religious extremism.There are people of all classes and beliefs in Bangladesh.There are the poor struggling on one side and the rich lavishing on the other.But this seems to matter little when they, albeit the number of zeroes on their bank accounts, come togther for friday prayers as they stand, shoulder to shoulder, and pray together.As they pray together in synchroneity, it would be hard for a spectator to differentiate, but he can definitely deduce that this is one nation,the inhabitants of which calling each other brothers and systers as they pray for the better of the world and the nation as a whole, is as united as it claims to be.

With the advent of the religious festivals, for instance, Eids and Christmas, come the infectious reactions of the people.Every now and then, I find myself indulging in them as I cherish my place in this community.As everyone starts preparing for the festivals, the air acquires a different tone; florist shops, confectionaries, grocery stores all decorate and remind us over and over again that regardless of the troubles we face or the hardships that await, that circled date on our calendars is the day we are allowed to live the way we want.

I think you need to be more personal and relate it back to your life. I feel like it's a history paper!

.... you mean people share religion? That sounds a bit awkward. I think people share certain beliefs and traditions, but sharing religion sounds a bit impractical. Bangla is predominantly a Muslim country having small communities of Hindu, Buddhist and Christian people. Do you mean Hindus, Buddhists and Christians share the religion of Islam? Or do you mean that all these people share common traditions and live in peace and harmony while respecting each other?

What utopia are you talking about? I'm from Bangladesh as well but I would be very careful about writing an essay about the religious community there. There is a high probability that the admissions officers have an idea of the turmoil in Bangladesh right now. You would have to contrast the serenity of your community to the unrest in Bangladesh to please them. You would probably be better off writing about a smaller community like your circle of friends. Hope I am not too harsh. By the way could you review my umich essay as well.