I have seen how words have the healing power of mending hearts and easing pain
i dont think u need 'healing' there, cause u already say mending and easing...
I have seen how words have the healing power of mending hearts and easing pain. I have also seen how words
u repeat "I have seen how words" twice, maybe u could use they in the next sentence , although i understand you want the words to be chosen carefully so the essay sound kind of 'poetical' , if u know what i mean...
Words are such fragile things
can u find another word for 'things'?
something that is essential to my life
how about" something essential to my life" ?
When I write, I feel as if I enter a sort of breathing room, in which anything is permissible and where all things are possible
i dont think the concept of 'breathing room' is clear...
the first essay is beautiful, and it is very hard to try to correct or comment since there is not measure to judge you with, as u are writing in your own style. But u mention everything to the point and i think u give a good answer
As easily as wars are started by words, they can be solved by words.
are they? really?
If opposing sides took the time to sit down and talk their differences and issues out, I truly believe guns and bombs would be unnecessary
i dont think a politician or an authority would even want to hear this. war is a way of mankind, very sadly.
I think countries get too impatient with each other and are quick to pick up the sword rather than use the pen
however i love this sentence... the power of the pen. this is a famous quote:
Bulwer-Lytton: The pen is mightier than the sword.
should get lessons in humanity-
this sounds a bit akward
its a good essay, but its very cliche . unless u dont have a very specific and strong argument against war, maybe you should try another essay. and of course in that one as well, u should have a core argument
I would bring up the issue of war and how unnecessary it is
hehe, coming to think of it, obama gave a raelly good speech for his noble prize about this, u might have heard
i cant comment on the 3rd one, i think its really good!
the 4th essay has a good second paragraph. u spend too many words describing ur sister and what u did when u were little. I dont think u even need that. try writing some lines about what barnard specifically possesses that attracts you. and you should also involve perhaps one or two more aspects about ur interest in barnard, the academics ...athletics...anything . you only wrote one sentence about barnard itself, while the whole essay should be a mixture of you and barnard.
good luck! i admire your writing. I hope my feedback is useful