As I walk down the street, and the sounds of sneakers slipping, balls being dribbled, and nets swooshing intensify, my heart races, and joy overflows my body. Simple movements such as jumping, and running come together in order to put on an aesthetically pleasing show. I become greatly relieved by the appearance of a basketball court, and an opportunity to engage in my favorite hobby of playing basketball.
During my freshman year of high school, I first discovered the game of basketball. Although I've played before, the game took on a whole new meaning to me as I proceeded on my quest to be as good of a basketball player as I could be. Ever since then whenever I felt stressed out, or desolate I would lace my sneakers and hit up the closest ball park or the closest gym.
Even though i'm off the school grounds when I play basketball, the game still manages to teach me a lot of life lessons that I have incorporated. Being defeated once by a forty year old chubby man, because I assumed he was slow, and not good enough has opened my eyes, because it has shown me that you cannot judge people by their appearance. I also used to think that certain people are "just better" than me, and I use to be discouraged from doing something, because "it just wasn't for me". However, after putting many hours into my craft and reaching the heights that I thought I could never reach, basketball taught me that as long as you are patient, and work hard towards your goal you will prevail.
In many ways basketball is a parallel to the life that we live. Basketball has shown me that teamwork always prevails over egotistical approach, and that you have to be patient in order to "score" in life.
Please show me any mistakes, critique it, and if possible help me on ending the essay as I believe I haven't concluded it well
Nice essay, but I noticed how in the conclusion, you emphasized "teamwork", whereas in the body paragraphs you mostly talked about how not to judge a person by appearance and to believe and be patient.
Some run-on errors in 1st paragraph and 3rd.
read mine please?
good luck!
