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Being on a basketball court; College Essay - Place Where I'm Most Content


DC97 1 / -  
Nov 19, 2013   #1
Okay so background to this: I have been struggling with this for about a month now (some procrastination). I've basically forced my words out so far and the only thing that flowed out nicely was the hook and that's because I'm more comfortable writing an intro where it places you RIGHT in the action. I know it's not complete yet (I'm sorry if that's not allowed) but I'd just like some feedback and suggestions or help, basically anything because I'm starting to panic. Thanks in advance.

Prompt: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

The game was tied. The team that scored the next point would win. Various faces that I knew were in the crowd surrounding the court, cheering and encouraging us to win the game. Our team of three had possession and I stood readily, sweat dripping down the side of my face and my mind completely centered on the game at hand. My teammate started to dribble the ball and ran towards the basket but two players on the opposing team got in his way and cut off his route to the hoop. Rather than try to force a shot, he looked desperately towards his teammates. My other teammate was tangled up with the third player on the other team and I was open. He passed the ball to me and as I caught it, I centered my feet towards the basket and took a deep breath. With the game on the line, I took the shot and focused entirely on the ball going through the net. Swish. The crowd exploded with cheers and a relieved smile formed on my face. As my teammates ran towards me to celebrate, I saw a defeated, disappointing look on the other team's faces. A multitude of feelings were coursing throughout my body.

To most people, a basketball court wouldn't be the ideal place to relax or be content. There's usually a cacophony of noises occurring around the court and people are always in danger of getting hit by the ball if they are not paying attention. But to me, I enjoy it. I enjoy hearing the basketball bounce repeatedly, the sound the net makes when the ball goes through it as well as the disappointing clank of the rim when someone misses. I also enjoy the constant yelling and talking going on around me as I either play or spectate.

Being on a basketball court is meaningful to me for many reasons. Firstly, I enjoy challenging myself as I play. It pressures me to think, act and speak quicker in order to achieve my goal. Secondly, being on the court allows me to escape the rest of the world and focus entirely on the game of basketball.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Nov 20, 2013   #2
Various faces that I knew were in the crowd surrounding the court, cheering and encouraging us to win the game.

I looked around, many known faces in the crowd cheered in their fullest capacity encouraging us to win the game.

Rather than try to force a shot, he looked desperately towards his teammates

Instead of trying to force a shot, he looked desperately towards his teammates

To most people, a basketball court wouldn't be the ideal place to relax or be content. There's usually a cacophony of noises occurring around the court and people are always in danger of getting hit by the ball if they are not paying attention.

For many, a basketball court wouldn't be an ideal place for relaxing and feel content because of cacophony of noises in the court and spectators are often tensed over the performance of their favored team.


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