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A beautiful campus, engineering and Co-op program - Why Northwestern College Essay


brad2011 1 / 1  
Oct 3, 2010   #1
It's definitely long ~ 880 words. Is there any way for me to trim this down and make it a little more about me and less about NU? Any input would be great! Thanks!

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

It was in third grade when I first stepped foot on Northwestern's beautiful, sprawling campus. Alongside my mother and father, a Kellogg Management Institute student at the time, we watched the Wildcats take on Ohio State at Ryan Field. I was amazed by the size and beauty of the campus, and today, nine years later, I am still just as awestruck. At the time I knew very little of Northwestern, or any college for that matter, and after many years of hard work, I'm happy to be applying to the university that I have always loved. When I re-visited the campus in June, my thoughts soared and I immediately envisioned myself walking the streets of Evanston as a proud Northwestern student. I knew that Northwestern was the place where I could challenge myself academically, meet amazing life-long friends, and prepare myself for the increasingly competitive American work force.

I have always been interested in math and science, whether it be my willingness to take challenging courses or conducting summer research at a top medical school, I have pursued my passions in these subjects. The engineering program at Northwestern is like no other. Many schools are very technical, while lacking liberal arts classes that form a well-rounded university. Northwestern strikes a perfect balance of having technical math and science courses, while also giving students a taste of some liberal arts classes. I plan to take advantage of not only the excellent industrial engineering courses and programs such as Engineering First, but also use the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences to expand my education with a minor in Economics or Spanish. I believe that my decision to combine both of these aspects of Northwestern will broaden my academic horizons and give me an excellent, holistic education.

Northwestern is a great school with an amazing student body. During my campus visit, the university's quirks such as the "Rock" and the 30 Hour Dance Marathon gave me a sense of the unorthodox student body that is Northwestern. I felt an amazing sense of school spirit in every student, everyone seemed passionate about their field of study and the color purple was everywhere! I believe I am an excellent fit for the Northwestern student body because I show my school spirit by attending every football game and major school event, and I will definitely continue this into college. I have also moved six times and I have lived internationally in Puerto Rico and I believe that this diversity has helped me become more accepting of different cultures. In Puerto Rico I was friends with kids from France, Mexico, Japan, India, and Argentina. By forming these friendships at a young age, I have become a person who is accepting of a variety of cultures and this will allow me to have a variety of colleagues at a diverse school such as Northwestern.

While at Northwestern, I plan to fully utilize the Co-op program to give myself real-world experience in engineering with world-class companies. I have always dreamed of being a stock broker or investment banker on Wall Street, working diligently with others to succeed. While visiting the campus, I arranged an appointment to speak with Helen Oloroso, who gave me insight to the co-op program. She said that in order to obtain a job in our intensely competitive market, I must have substantial work experience, and the Northwestern Co-op program allows me to gain that experience while also receiving a top notch degree. I will take my engineering knowledge and combine it with my personal skills and strong work ethic to succeed in the work place. I had a taste of working in a professional environment when I worked as a laboratory assistant in a microbiology lab at the University of Illinois at Chicago. In the lab I worked with a team of graduate students to conduct research on Listeria monocytogenes. We executed experiments such as PCR, cloning, and hemolysin assays to genetically transform the bacteria's tail ends and test the results. Not only did my laboratory skills improve, but I also learned how to conduct myself in a professional setting. The knowledge and experience I gained in the laboratory will make an ideal candidate for the Northwestern Co-op program. In addition, I will be able to leverage myself with the experiences from the program when I apply for jobs after college.

Northwestern has everything that I want in a university, a beautiful campus, top-notch engineering and Co-op program, and a diverse student body. Not only is Northwestern a great place to go to college, but I believe that I can be a great student at Northwestern. I can contribute my talents in math and science and also my charismatic attitude to build school spirit and make life-long friends along the way. I would love to be a part of such an amazing university and I wouldn't want anything more than to call myself a Wildcat.
donrocks 5 / 120  
Oct 3, 2010   #2
If, you scroll through my posts, you would find many essays in which I found a common mistake. No research and personal touch! I am very glad that you come as a breath of fresh air.

Good Points:
1)Nice and clean language that appeals to all. Good!
2)Nice research and love for college is clearly visible. Length is not an issue unless, you have breached the word limit. If not, cool!

Pts. needed to worked on:
1)

. I had a taste of working in a professional environment

This needs a new para. The point is that this is one very crucial factor associated to you and we don't want it to be blurred.

2) Conclusion came.... very jerkily. Try to link it up with some part of the essay to have a smooth flow throughout the essay.
3) Work on the commas and exclamation. Also work on a opening line linked to you and your character.... preferrably something that would bring a smile on their face. Something maybe about how you are drooling for the college.( :) Don't write drool, lol)

Its a decent essay but just seems to be a bore in places. A few light lines and all will be well. Don't cut out words because that would break the flow.
OP brad2011 1 / 1  
Oct 3, 2010   #3
Thanks donrocks! That's some great advice and I appreciate you taking the time to read it all! I do agree that the conclusion was definitely rushed and I think your advice will really help me. I've never posted on this site before but I am throughly impressed with the help I have received. Anyone else?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 6, 2010   #4
Who was a Kellogg Management Institute student at the time? That part is confusing...

Well, that whole first para is all poetically describing the campus... I think you should revise so that this is focused on the purpose you want to achieve with each reader. I don't think it matters what you did in the third grade. What will impress them now is if you have already read a lot of articles about the aspects of engineering that interest you.

I like a lot of the content about your experiences; it is good, though, if you cut out some of the sentences that don't make helpful points. For example, this is not helpful:

Not only is Northwestern a great place to go to college, but I believe that I can be a great student at Northwestern. Replace this with a sentence that says some specific things, or just cut it so that you have more % of your essay taken up with meaningful sentences.

You are doing well! Just trim away the excess.


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