Hey! I'd really appreciate any feedback anyone can give me on this short essay. Its my first draft, so please be as critical as you need to be!
Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why.
Why am I so drawn to Columbia? To me, the answer is simple. I'm not attracted to Columbia only because of its impressive academic reputation, and not just because it resides in one of the greatest cities in the world- though that certainly doesn't hurt. I'm drawn to Columbia because when I set foot on its beautiful campus last summer and took the tour, I felt immediately at home. I felt a sense of belonging- a sense of rightness- that took me off guard. I could envision myself lounging on the steps of the Low Memorial Library on sunny days, and bonding with students of other majors over the core curriculum. I could see myself exploring the looming skyscrapers of New York, learning from both my peers and from the diverse and colorful inhabitants of the city. I knew immediately that by attending Columbia, I would have the opportunity to grow so much, as a scholar and as a person. In Columbia I saw an ideal atmosphere to better myself, a place where I could be myself freely among students who share my curiosity and passion for learning. I firmly believe in gut feelings, and in knowing what is right in an instant. In my case, Columbia is that gut feeling. Because while Columbia offers everything I desire in a college on paper- world-renowned academics, great arts and music programs, and a prime location- it also resonates within me, pulling at me with inexorable force, calling me closer until it is all I see.
Good. You definitely show you are very interested. It was good that you mentioned your visit and a key building on campus. The essay may be better if you add in more some specific aspects of the education you would receive or clubs you are interested in. What about Columbia distinguishes it from other colleges? (education wise) I could almost plug in The University of Pennsylvania and Philadelphia and the essay would still work, and that is not good. I like the passion, but be more specific!
