I was a Turk, but besides my last name there was nothing that showed this.
You should use paragraphs when you write. End the first paragraph after this sentence.
I had butterflies in my stomach the whole way, and
after a long
ten-hour flight we finally arrived.
I looked around at all the people;
that's when I felt I finally belonged somewhere.
... I became proud of being Turkish. (end the paragraph here).
I came back to America telling people...
You write well, but it is important to avoid run-on sentences: Nothing will get in my way of working with others, and
I will make sure to succeed and will go past any obstacle that comes in my way.
You can use a conjunction or a semi-colon to fix any run-on sentence. :-)