The promt is very simple, "Why do you want to attend NYFA?" Please don't hold back. I am very open to criticism whether it's positive. Please be very honest.
In the year 2000, I became a quadriplegic and now must get around in a motorized wheelchair.
Since becoming a member of the disabled community nine years ago, I have witnessed how society ignores not only the handicapped persons needs but also the fact that we are people too. I want to make people think about this and change societies perspective on the disabled using humor and drama through screenwriting.
I have been an artist and a writer all of my life and of all of the different mediums that I and other artists have used to send or embody a message, none have the effects of the big silver screen and television. They have the ability to bring people together, to change peoples ideals and ideologies, the way they think. For me, the most amazing thing film can do and has done, is to change the way people live.
I believe the powerful and hilarious stories that I have to tell will show that disabled people are more than a bunch of depressed, weak, do gooders, who feel sorry for themselves while mootching off the government because they have no ambition. The stories that I want to tell will show wheelchair users in situations that they have never been seen in before.
Some of these situations include going to college, abuse, joining the student government of their school, skipping school, doing drugs, struggling to find their identity, being bisexual, applying for internships, applying for food stamps, dealing with Identity theft, having incredible sex, being rebellious, fetish modeling, and so much more.
An example of a powerful story would be this snippet of an article that I wrote for a local newspaper about me gaining my voice back after not having spoken an audible word in five years:
I didn't realize how powerful my voice was at first. I remember the day that changed. I was at my favorite movie theater, (it let's people in wheelchairs go for free), seeing the movie Crash. For those of you who don't know, Crash is a movie about racism, tolerance for, and understanding others. During a very pivotal scene in the movie a woman in the back row said something derogatory and very inappropriate. I looked at my mom, forgetting that I recently got my voice back, and furiously said, "What ignorant [expletive] said that?" It helped that at the exact moment I said that the theater was dead silent. I know that because I heard several people snickering and my mom saying, "You go Rosie".
It was a very liberating and powerful experience for me and when the full article came out in the newspaper I heard from so many people who loved it and were moved by it.
I want to attend the New York Film Academy so that I can learn the skills that I need to become a great screenwriter and to reach a variety of audiences to share my powerful, humorous, thought provoking, and mind broadening stories with through television and film. I have looked at several other colleges and universities that offer screenplay writing programs but none of them have the amount of emphasis placed on the development of and the dedication to writing as the New York Film Academy does. It is this commitment to developing your craft that let's me know that the New York Film Academy is right choice for me.
In the year 2000, I became a quadriplegic dependent on others and now must get around in a motorized wheelchair.
Since becoming a member of the disabled community nine years ago, I have witnessed how society ignores not only the handicapped persons needs but also the fact that we are people too.
I have been an artist and a writer all of my life and out of all of the different mediums that I and other artists have used to send or embody a message, none have the effects of the big silver screen and television.
They have the ability to bring people together, to change peoples ideals and ideologies, the way they think. and For me, the most amazing thing film can do and has done, is to change the way people live.
If I had not seen those movies and heard the messages in them I would not be the person who I am today.
I think you should tell what some of these powerful messages are, and how they have affected you. It sounds as though you were saying the movies you listed as some of your favorites, were great because of the musical soundtracks. I don't think this is the message you wanted to convey.
:)
Your essay is essentially composed of two unrelated halves. The first half deals with your experience in becoming a quadriplegic and your decision to try to "change societies perspective on the disabled using humor, and drama through screenwriting." The second half lists your favorite movies. You could tie them together by following Kevin's suggestion and elaborating on what messages those movies had and how they affected you, or you could scrap the second half altogether and elaborate on your own scriptwriting ideas.
Thank you very much for the great advice. I'll post the new draft when I manage to produce it.
Here is my latest draft. Once again, please be honest. Also, if you could give me some ideas on how to finish it up I would really appreciate it because I'm having some trouble with that part.
Thanks for your help.
Ananda
This new draft is much stronger. The obvious way to conclude would be to tie the article back to why you want to attend NYFA, which is after all the topic you are writing about. Post the full draft once you have it finished for further feedback.
I believe the powerful and hilarious stories that I have to tell will show that disabled people are more than a bunch of depressed, weak, do gooders, who feel sorry for themselves while mooching off the government because they have no ambition.
WOW!! This is SO much better! Great ending!
:)
I think you're pretty much done. A couple of very minor grammatical points:
"how society ignores not only the needs of the handicapped persons needs "
"I want to make people think about this and change society's perspective"
Yay! I'm excited. Now I can apply! Thanks for all your help. I really appreciate it. I'll let you know if I get in.
-Ananda (Uh-non-duh)
Yay! I got in! I want to thank everyone who gave me their advice and criticism. Thank you so much!
Ananda (Uh-non-duh)
