please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities (150 words or fewer).
Here I was standing alone in front of a classroom with eighteen 4th grade students. I myself was just a senior in high school volunteering at the middle school. After several weeks of learning effective leadership, the words of a math lesson that I was instructed to teach seemed to flow out my mouth despite my shy mannerism. At the end of my lecture I took a deep breath, the palms of my hands were moist with sweat, as I looked at their eyes gazed at mine my fears suddenly faded. I had managed to maintain their attention for the entire lesson. It was at that particular moment that I suddenly realized how capable I was of becoming an extraordinary teacher who could aspire children and could lead them to a successful future.
Thanks!
Sheila
You talked about your experience with the activity, but I think you should also name the activity, It might help your essay flow better.
do you mean to give more information besides "volunteering at the middle school"?
Yes, thats what I mean.
How's this?
I was just a senior in high school and had been given the opportunity to volunteer at the elementary school. I had been there for several weeks observing and learning effective leadership from the teacher I was working with. I was standing by myself in front of a classroom with eighteen 4th grade students. The words of a math lesson that I was instructed to teach easily flowed out my mouth despite my shy mannerism. At the end of my lecture I took a deep breath, the palms of my hands were moist with sweat, as I looked at their eyes gazing at mine, my fears suddenly faded. I had managed to maintain their attention for the entire lesson. It was that particular experience that made me suddenly realize how capable I was of becoming an extraordinary teacher who could aspire children and could lead them to a successful future.
Hi Sheila,
The statement is concise and at the same time it does send a great message to the admissions and that is how you were able to overcome fear in public speaking and achieve something that you've never thought you could.
However, it would be even better if you had a very short intro as well as a strong concluding sentence that explains how through this event, you have become that very person you wanted to be. Also, I would consider revising "The words of a math lesson that I was instructed to teach easily flowed out my mouth despite my shy mannerism. " as it sounds a bit wordy.
Hope this helps!
Sheila,
this statement exhibits your emotional connection to the teaching field. However, I feel that you should leave out an feelings of hesitation--"sweaty palms" and "despite my shy mannerism"--because weaknesses (ANY) are frowned upon in college applications. Maybe leave these details out and keep with the confident disposition.
how capable I was of becoming an extraordinary teacher who could aspire children and could lead them to a successful future.
It is more inspiring/convincing that being an extraordinary teacher ...etc. is your dream/aspiration than your realization (at the end of the experience of your essay.)
