To become neurologist that specializes in neurodegenerative disorders that affect physical movement

Prompt: American University provides its students the freedom to pursue majors and minors within and across the different schools and colleges of the University. In no more than two paragraphs, discuss your academic goals and how American University would help you achieve them.

My ultimate goal academically is to become a neurologist that specializes in neurodegenerative disorders that affect physical movement, such as Parkinson's and Huntington's. American University is a great choice for me because of the degree in Neuroscience that the school offers. The program allows me to study biology and chemistry simultaneously, which are two of my favorite subjects, as well as explore questions about the human mind that I am anxious to get answered. Along with a knowledgeable faculty, American University is equipped with the tools and the knowledge I desire to further my understanding of the field of neuroscience. As well as these impressive credentials, American University also offers extensive research opportunities for me to get involved in as a part of the community. American's nationally ranked Center for Behavioral Neuroscience offers me the precise tools I need to further my education and hopefully develop a cure for some of the neurodegenerative disorders that are affecting society today. This excellent research center allows me to approach some of the puzzling and interesting questions that affect our daily lives like behavioral excess and emotional health. Being engaged in this center would also help broaden my perspective by learning from students and professors who are also interested in the same concepts and problems that I am. Specifically, the symposium that is offered within this center offers a great opportunity for me to learn from the world's leading researchers in Neuroscience and ultimately broaden my knowledge of the field.

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Lauren, the essay is very redundant in the sense that you are merely repeating information that the admissions officer already knows about their university. What he wants to find out is how you will specifically use the opportunities offered by the university in furthering your education. Specifically, which two fields of study would you find yourself participating in, why, and how will those two merge into one unique major for your. Remember, you are allowed to attend classes across departments so you are going to be in a unique position to educate yourself on a far wider field than other students attending other universities. Try to develop the essay more around the available training programs, seminars, and mentors who will be available to you in specific fields. Explain how this exposure will help you directly develop certain skills and talents. Right now, you have a general discussion and overview which is not quite effective. I recommend that you use one paragraph to discuss the two fields of study you wish to attend and how it will help you as a professional in the future. Then use the second paragraph to discuss the offerings of the university in a manner specific to what you know about your necessary training and academic development. That manner of writing should better respond to the prompt provided :-)

I tried doing what you said! If you could please read it again, that would be phenomenal! Thanks!

American University gives the opportunity to take classes across different departments, an opportunity complete unique to American. I would like to take this opportunity to expose myself to courses from both Neuroscience and Psychology. This would allow me to take courses from both the Science and Social Sciences departments and would give me exposure to both the physical and emotional aspects of how the brain works, which would only broaden my knowledge and perspective of the world around me. As I hope to become a neurologist in the future, having learnt from both of these fields will give me advantages in my line of work by allowing me to understand both cause and effect of how the brain works: neuroscience illustrating the cause by helping me understand how things work on a molecular level and psychology illustrating the effect by helping me understand how these different things translate into personality.

As I hopefully enter a career as a neurologist, it is important for me to prepare myself for the rigorous curriculum that is inevitably coming in medical school. American prepares me this rigorous curriculum by offering a wide range of interesting courses related to the human body such as Memory and Cognition and Neuropharmacology. This would allow me to gain the knowledge necessary to succeed in medical school before I even attend medical school, ultimately making me a better doctor in the future.

Lauren, your essay is ready content and theme wise. I just caught a few grammatical errors that we need to address before we can call the essay a final copy.


- having learned from both...


- American prepares me for this rigorous...

Remember, my opinion is that the essay is ready. If you think otherwise, let me know and I will continue to work with you towards improving the essay to the point you will be comfortable with :-)