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to become a synthetic chemist: academic interest/professional goal

kiwi90 8 / 21  
Jan 2, 2010   #1
can anyone give me any suggestions on this essay? the deadline's Jan 2nd.
I will greatly appreciate your comments/critiques/corrections.

As a child, I loved creating something. I would make a lion with playdough, draw an imaginative wonderland, and write fantasy tales. I also delighted in observing the world. I used to touch a desk and ask myself what caused its hardness and watch boiling soup, wondering why it thickened as it got hotter. I had these creative urge to harvest a new reality, and intellectual curiosity to delve deeper into the nature's phenomena. As I grew up, I found Chemistry the ideal subject to quench both of my desires.

To me, Chemistry is a field which holds much promise. Its study will allow my theoretical ventures into the nature's inner workings and the existence and constitution of matters that I questioned so many times as a child. At the same time, it will provide opportunities to apply my knowledge in practice, enabling the empirical experiences of nature that I so desired to achieve. However most importantly, it will ultimately offer me the opportunities to be an inventor of new materials, molecules, drugs, theories or technologies. I believe that by exploring the specific field of synthetic chemistry, I will be able to utilize my creative spirit and knowledge to bring forth the reality I hope to materialize.

It was perhaps my internship experience that I conclusively decided to become a chemist. Working as a laboratory assistant in a pharmaceutical company for 6 weeks last summer, I participated in generic drug cultivations and was able to witness the practical applications of organic chemical syntheses. Despite the arduous experimental procedure that I underwent, I could not suppress my excitement upon seeing the ingredients for cure emerging into reality. It was then I was determined to become a synthetic chemist, to implement my knowledge and yield my best creation for the betterment of society.

cheetah777 1 / 18  
Jan 2, 2010   #2
Overall, the essay is descriptive, but general and vague. It would be nice if you were more specific, like pick some experience from that internship and talk about it, then say why that experience convinced you to pursue Chemistry as a major.
OP kiwi90 8 / 21  
Jan 2, 2010   #3
Thanks, Tesha! That really helped a lot!
cheetah777 1 / 18  
Jan 2, 2010   #4
No problem. :) hope you get in!

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