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Becoming a doctor while my trans girlfriend becomes a woman - transfer essay


haileybugj 1 / -  
Feb 10, 2021   #1

Transfer Essay - Undergraduate (996 words)



Prompt: The personal statement should be a comprehensive essay outlining significant aspects of your academic and personal history, particularly those that provide context for your academic achievements and educational choices. Quality of writing and depth of content both contribute toward a meaningful and relevant personal statement.

Suggested length is 750 to 1000 words.

Address the following topics: (required) Academic History, Your Major and/or Career Goals, Cultural Understanding

Address the following topics if they apply to you: (optional) Educational Challenges / Personal Hardships, Community, Military, or Volunteer Service, Experiential Learning, Other Comments

This is my essay, it is due in five days and I would really appreciate any and all feedback! Thank you in advance.

I knew I needed the leg surgeries and so did my doctors, but no one wanted to admit it to themselves, we never wanted to get to that point. I have had a second home at Shriner's Hospital since birth, and my journey was only really beginning at 15 years old. Once it was official, I had to know everything about the procedures. What ligaments were they replacing? What is my tibial tuberosity and how were they going to alter it? I wished at that moment I could know it all, how the human body functioned and why it varied from person to person. This sparked my eternal interest in the medical field, but I knew my high school did not have the necessary classes for me to learn more. I craved information about science, and my craving drew me to Spokane Community College for their running start program, where I attended every science class the school would allow me to enroll in. From psychology to biology, I knew this is what my brain was made for.

When I was 17, I took a two-part anatomy and physiology course, this is when I learned about female anatomy, pregnancies, and the effects of hormones. I fell in love with the subject and from that moment on, I was on a path to become an OBGYN, I had found my passion in life. I will finish my AA degree this June and need to start my pre-medical journey in the fall, and with UW having one of the top medical schools in the country and a very impressive pre-medicine track, it became my sole intent to attend there. From taking my first biology class at Spokane Community College, my life fell into place. I am determined to finish my AA degree, major in biology at UW, and attend their renowned medical school with the hopes of specializing in gynecology. With this future in mind, the University of Washington will set me up for a lifetime of academic success.

My childhood relationship with hospitals taught me values about myself that I am forever grateful for. Relearning how to stand, walk and run is a very frustrating and time-intensive feat, and through it, I learned the value of patience and challenging work. Later, I unknowingly sprinkled this knowledge throughout every aspect of my life. The moment I could stand again I got a job at 17 at a local small business and within a year, became the manager of two storefronts, working full time through college to this day. Throughout my entire high school career, I was the head stage manager of the theatre department, winning best techie three years in a row, running all the plays from behind the scenes. I was also the president theatre council member for two years, spending over 20 hours a week just in my scene shop alone. Whether that meant on crutches or in a wheelchair, I was determined to do my best work every time. No matter how tedious the task.

Theatre was as much of a home to me as the hospital, it is where I met my girlfriend, my best friends, and learned about my sexuality. My girlfriend of three years, Cora, is actually the one who pushed me to do running start and take a big step towards my future. She is attending the University of Washington as a junior right now, although I have always been drawn to the school academically, now with her going there, I knew I needed to apply. Recently, Cora came out to me and our families as a transgender woman. I met her as Chet, a handsome, yet very anxious boy with a heart and brain like you would never believe. Now she is still the boy I met in high school, but more confident and gorgeous than ever before. I understand more now that I need to be close to her and support her through this transition in her life, which is just one of the many reasons this institution is the fit for me.

Being a bisexual woman dating a transitioning transgender woman, the culture surrounding my home life has been rocky, to say the least. This transition has been hard for everyone involved, especially my family. Sexuality and gender are not a choice that we have, but something we are born with and my family may need some time to understand that. For right now, they do not feel as though my girlfriend and I should be included, so I decided to surround myself with those that do understand. I have created my own environment and culture with my girlfriend and our best friends who all attend U-Dub together. The culture that binds my group is welcoming and considerate, I have never felt like I belonged more with any band of people, which I genuinely believe my friends set the tone for the community created by the entire university. I want to be a part of that culture, the inviting, warm family that I lack back in Spokane. Seattle has always felt like a home to me, every trip I take there feels like where I fit in and where I know I need to be. With this sense of community, for the first time in my life, I can finally fully focus on my academic future. At UW, in this city with the people, the worldview, the acceptance, and the atmosphere, I can feel like my true self full time.

At this school, I have a place where my dream academic goals will be met, where I can surround myself with the emotional support I have always longed for, and where I believe I belong wholeheartedly. I have changed drastically in the last few years, between the surgeries and the family dynamic differences, but these changes have only made me stronger and more prepared for the world ahead. Academically, emotionally, physically. I am ready to attend the University of Washington.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,300 3340  
Feb 10, 2021   #2
You covered most of the required elements in this discussion. While it is all compelling and up to date in terms of cultural understanding, the one thing missing from the presentation is your academic history. Where are the references to your academic accomplishments aside from simple references to class you took and classes of interest to you? Why should you be considered academically compatible with the university aside from having your girlfriend attending there? While the essay is acceptable. It is weak due to the incomplete reference to your academic history. It would be better if you eliminate or summarize the reference to your time in the hospital, so that you will have enough word allotment to discuss your academic history in terms of grades and academic achievements. Summarize your hospital reference instead to reflect your interest in becoming a doctor. Your title is definitely eye catching, but you won't get considered for admission on the basis of your title and your girlfriends journey, even if it relates to your own journey as a bisexual woman, alone. You need to show your academic fitness, not just interest in the presentation.


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