sufficiently
Maybe use the word extremely or something like that to better show intrest, or you could leave it as is..
dreamed that I was as a volunteer EMT
rewrite: often dream about volunteering as an EMT
I, writing a quirky limerick during Dooley's Week. I could see myself as an Emory student.
I like what you're trying to say and how you're linking it to the Emory tradition of Limerick during Dooley's Week, but the stence structure is a bit sketchy and I don't exactly understand what you're saying.
Emory simply cannot be defined by qualities such as small class sizes, inspirational educational advisors, an education that specifically tailors to a student's needs renowed educators, and various research opportunities. embodied everything I wanted in a college. With small class sizes and educational advisors, my Emory education would be tailored to an environment in which I could thrive.At Emory, I would have access to renowned educators, and a plethora of research opportunities. Rather, Emory is about a truly unique experience. It is about being provided an unparraleled education in which the professors and educational advisors work with you to help you achieve your potential and your dreams. It is a place where anything is possible. Emory would provide me with a specialized education that could not be experienced elsewhere. Here, I may findwould find myself pursuing my academic goals in psychology, while studying abroad, and still being able to makemaking it home for Sunday night dinners .
With numerous clubs, organizations and programs to choose from, there is always something new and exhilarating to learn on campus. (not really necessary)
All those years ago, Emory truly became my other twin, linked forever by everything I had dreamt of achieveing and everything Emory had to offer me.common interests and future dreams.From the age of twelve, Emory College became my future.
You need a better concluding sentence, I can't really think of sanything sorry...Sincerely Lord Dooley of Misrule
Please grant me admission to your school.
Rapt by your traditions
I ask your chief permission,
To be part of the acceptance pool.
I kind of like the limerick it adds a personal touch. But the last line shoud change to something where you say you want to be part of the Emory experience.Sorry about being so late. I will check back a couple times tonight, so if you Need help I could give it.Ohh, I got a good conclusion, maybe say something like how you can still hear the EKG machine today and relate it to how you want to attend Emory. Because you titled the essay "the beeping of and EKG machine", but you only talk about it once.