Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5


I believe in art/ YALE / Something you need to tell us


mercedes1923 4 / 8  
Dec 29, 2012   #1
Okay, so in the Yale supplement, they are asking me this question: "In this second essay, please reflect on something you would like us to know about you that we might not learn from the rest of your application-or on something that you would like to say more about. We ask that you limit your essay to fewer than 500 words. Before you begin, we encourageyou to go to"

I need help deciding which essay to choose.

I believe in art.
It is not merely for decoration. Rather, it is a visual, a concrete idea, belief, or tangible feelings that break barriers and open doors.
Art has power beyond comprehension.
It can start controversies, sway public opinion, and demolish governments with a flick of a brush. Paintings can communicate beyond the obstacles of language and speak straight to the viewer's soul.

Art is individualism at its finest.
Every work, every sculpture, painting, drawing, and photograph is a representation of not only the artist's beliefs, but also their emotions, ideas, thoughts, and personality. Artists dip their brushes in their own soul, and paint their nature into their pictures. These pieces of art is a reflection of the artist themselves, making it unique just the like every individual walking on this grand earth.

Art is on the border of what is obvious and illustrious toward what is enigmatic and obscured.
It takes on various shapes and forms that individuals are familiar with, but adds a twist that morphs it into something new and exciting. And for that brief moment staring at the artwork, one can look at the world as the artist does, see their vision.

Art is not a thing; it is a way of living.
As an artist, I found great solace in photography and painting, losing myself in the hues of shocking reds and canary yellows and forgetting the realm outside the smell of paint and paper. I found I could convey things with colors and figures that I could say no any other way, things I had no words for. Without art, the primitiveness of reality would make the world intolerable.


OR

A little girl of three, stumbling over her red, glittering shoes, propped her head on the windowsill to peek at a world full of wonders and opportunities. Her nimble fingers pushed the five rows of blinds down in order to see outside. Everything was new and she wanted to touch it, taste it, be a part of this bright world that was beyond the blinds.

At the age of ten, she gazed through the blinds once again with a faint smile. She could see more from this perspective than she had in the past. The world was dimmer, washed out from her mother's neglect and her father's abandonment. She could not see the sunny days of her toddler years, but she saw something on the horizon, a glimmer of hope, a promise of something remarkable.

Eight years passed, and she could see a third of the window now. Her heart fluttered at the thought of the future. She saw herself with a diploma, becoming the first high school graduate in her family, her grandmother encouraging her on to new adventures, new academic prospects. She could envision herself as a graphic designer, crafting great works of art that touched people of all walks of life.

Today, she knows she will grow older, become wiser, and broaden her cultural horizon as the years pass.
Foreseeing my future, planning my path of excellence, seeking a world full of possibilities, I stand now confident, no longer a timid adolescence gripping the blinds, but instead, an ambitious young woman eager to burst through the window and into the unknown.


So which one? Or should I just write another essay?
garmeth06 3 / 9 2  
Dec 29, 2012   #2
Go with the second essay. You scored major points with me mentioning that you are your family's first high school graduate; that is quite rare these days. Its easy to have good academic credentials in a household where both parents are valedictorians themselves, but the fact that you surpassed your family in terms of academics shows more determination and willpower than the normal applicant.

The first one, to me, is melodramatic, vague, and doesn't really say anything.
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
I like the second one. The first one is poetic, but it doesn't really say much about you. This one says more, but you could even inject more about your personality at the different stages in your life and how they revealed themselves in school, ECs, etc.
AmoebaMan 4 / 15 2  
Jan 9, 2013   #4
The second is much more powerful, especially the bit about being the first high-school graduate from your family. They claim not to discriminate, but colleges are huge suckers for underdogs.

The first one is nice, and is interesting from a philosophical standpoint, but it says nothing about you beyond speaking to your ability to write poetry.
sdelicana 5 / 10  
Jan 11, 2013   #5
They want to know more about you, so the second one explains that best.
I like the first one, too, though, but it simply describes the concept of art.


Home / Undergraduate / I believe in art/ YALE / Something you need to tell us
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳