Hi, I am an Italian highschooler and I am currently working on a statement of purpose to be considered to enrolling by SCAD. I am applying to Industrial Design. Since English is not my native language, I may make errors and mistakes, so
Could you please let me know the adjustments I need to increase my statement of purpose?
Review, corrections, advises are encouraged.
Art is essentially the affirmation, the blessing and the deification of existence.
It does not only take a passive picture of ELUSIVE FLEEBLE reality, but also flourishes the innermost ideas of the artist, has the uniquely power to evoke limitless sentiments in the spectator. Rich universe of ideas and perspectives converge in this game of senses, emotions and intellect, where the mind of creator is the sublime majesty.
His multicultural aspect has helped me since I was a child; barriers of nationality vanish before my artworks, so a Chinese girl was appreciated in this Italian environment. Creative activity has always been a PILLAR in my life. Furthermore, living in Florence HAS MADE IT PART OF my growth: you cannot avoid the sight of cultural heritage preservation and wonder his history in this birthplace of the Renaissance. Brunelleschi's Dome, Michelangelo's David, Botticelli's Venere, they fascinated me, and yet London, Paris, Madrid, Rome, Athens and so on, travelling through Europe and uncovering the veil of the Unknown.
But this is the Old Continent with his story to tell; what I aim is to learn creating, to look at the future, to see a career executing concepts into tangible objects in the modern world. I'm not afraid of leaving home and going overseas in order to pursue the path I chose. Studying abroad is a cultural experience to build a strong independence and autonomy for success. I call it my American Dream.
Early organization was necessary. Italians' foreign language skill is known to be below-average, so High School of Languages was my first choice to improve my English and to take a step closer to the dream. Liceo "G. Pascoli" was said being the most difficult one at Florence, and having confidence in my skills and capacities, my CHALLENGING spirit could not refuse the CHALLENGE. Indeed, it was five years of hardworking in which it seemed suppressing my passion, but actually I had my opportunity to realize my ardent furor, a constant earthquake burning in my heart. These semesters weren't wasted at all: my artworks exposed more then once in public places; tried acting in a Macbeth scholastic play; organized parties and designed birthday cakes.
But this is just the beginning of my way to transform the passion into profession. The main vehicle to my goal is a high quality university which balance conceptual concerns with practical experiences in an inspiring environment. Industrial Design at SCAD fits my requirements and I think it would improve my essential knowledge into valuable and professional talent. Language of imagination needs an advanced technology, equipment and learning resources, which not every university furnishes. The exceptional ranges of majors will branch out into areas of design i have never explored and I'm looking forward to expanding my horizons.
In conclusion, I don't believe in miracles, but in meritocracy. I aspire to the numerous amounts of scholarships to see the hardworking rewarded.
Being accepted by SCAD at Savannah would be definitely bring my ideal to life.
(Upper-case words: i am not sure, i am considering alternatives.)
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Art is essentially the affirmation, the blessing and the deification of existence.---Nice opening sentence!
... but also flourishes the innermost ideas of the artist, has the uniquely power to evoke limitless sentiments in the spectator.
A rich universe of ideas and perspectives converge in this game of senses,...
... you cannot avoid the sight of cultural heritage preservation and wonder his history---I don't think you meant to have the word 'his' here.
But this is the Old Continent with his (?) story to tell; what I aim is to learn to create , to look at the future, to see a career executing concepts into tangible objects in the modern world.
Studying abroad is a cultural experience toward build a strong independence and autonomy for success. I call it my American Dream.
These semesters weren't wasted at all: my artworks weredisplayed more then once in public places; tried acting in a Macbeth scholastic play; organized parties and designed birthday cakes.
Being accepted by SCAD at Savannah would be definitely bring my ideal to life.
Good luck with school and have fun!
:)
