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'not believing I was in Europe' - Evaluate a significant experience

eek736 1 / 1  
Nov 23, 2011   #1
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
I'm on the last step of my commonapp...the dreaded essay. Just wondering if there are any changes I should make before submitting it. And suggestions are appreciated!!! thanks!

My Europe Adventure

There are four stamps on my passport. These stamps represent two of the best weeks of my life; two weeks that were spent learning about the world and walking through my favorite pair of sandals. The first stamp I acquired originates from England. While there, I can remember looking out the hotel window and not believing I was in Europe. After saving ever cent I had made over the previous year, I finally made it. Overcoming the jet lag, I pushed my legs to take me through the streets of London. Attentively listening to the melodic British accents, I had to keep pinching myself in order to make sure everything was real. After walking the same corridors King Henry VIII took so many years ago, I got the chance to practice my French in the City of Love. I devoured flaky croissants and snapped shots of the Eiffel Tower. After I saw the Mona Lisa and got splashed by the ice cold water of the Seine, my journey took me to Switzerland. There, I sledded down an Alpine mountain and savored authentic cheese fondue; I purchased an authentic Swiss Army knife and gazed in awe at the breathtakingly beautiful landscape. Finally, the piece de resistance, the moment I had been waiting for: Italy. I modeled my newly purchased Venetian mask and sought out love advice from Juliet at her balcony. I watched a professional glass blower and made a wish in the Trevi Fountain. I saw a little more of the local Italian men at the beach than I would have liked and gained more weight then I wish to admit just from eating pasta. All too soon, I stumbled zombie-like into the waiting arms of my mother, ending the fourteen-hour journey home.

Soon after the biggest adventure of my life (so far), I realized that my views had completely shifted. Before this European adventure, I had absolutely no interest in learning about history or different cultures. Just the thought of cracking open my history book made me fall asleep and I was perfectly content to stay in my little protected American bubble. With those four stamps on my passport, my mind has been opened to the endless possibilities the world possesses and I want to learn all that I can about the globe and its colorful inhabitants. I am now ready to explore my potential and grow as a student and as a human being. More independent and ready to make my own decisions, I am excited to be on my own for the full college experience. Previously, the thought of not living with my mother scared me half to death and I never thought I would be ready to leave the house. However, with the help of my trip, I know just how ready I am. I am excited at the opportunity college brings to learn, grow and unlock my potential.

sjessicaa 1 / 5  
Nov 23, 2011   #2
I think you forgot the y in "after saving every cent"
but other than that, it's great!

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