What matters to me? Home. Why? Because I don't have one yet. Home, to me, is not just a house or a city or a country. It is one's place of contentment. The place where one feels a distinct, but intangible sense of belonging. It could be anywhere.
My family has been moving from place to place since I turned four. My relatives are spread out from coast to coast and then some, and my friends come from every corner of the world. Ranging from biology to studio art, even my interests are wide spread.
It would be fair to say I haven't put down any decisive roots just yet.
What I do know, is that I love to learn and explore new things. With every class I take I learn not only about the subject but also discover part myself. It's one step closer to understanding my interests, passions, skills, and where I feel most at home.
Whether I belong in California, the U.K., Singapore, a lab, or an operating room, I am eager to carve out my path and find what lights my fire, what I can contribute to the world, and where I feel most content. I believe that Stanford is the best place for me to begin my quest for home.
Words: 215
Please someone save me. Any help greatly appreciated!
a distinct but intangible No commas needed here
My relatives are spread out from coast to coast, and my friends
What I do know, is No commas needed
With every class I take, I learn Comma needed here
but also discover more about myself
Whether I belong in California, the U.K., Singapore, a lab, or an operating room, I am eager to carve out my path and find what lights my fire, what I can contribute to the world, and where I feel most content. Too long, try to split it
Can you please read my stanford essays as well? Thanks
Aside from the terrible grammar errors, I am looking for ways to expand and things to add. It feels kinda weak right now. Please help!
try to put more you into it, like maybe an anecdote.
Like Knight14 said, I think you need to focus more on you. I don't think you need to have the questions like "What matters to me?" and "Why?" and I don't think you need to define home. Like show more, don't tell. From this essay, I do get the impression that home matters to you because you don't really feel like you belong, but you don't really like take me there...seeing the world through your eyes..I don't know, maybe start with a moment?? Anyways, your response is pretty good.
