PROMPT: Evaluate a significant experience or risk you have taken and its impact on you.
At summer camp in 2006, I learned the amazing benefits of going out on a limb and trying something new. My counselor pleaded with me to go on a backpacking trip. She asked me to give hiking a chance. I, with a pathological fear of dirt and bugs, acquiesced. The moment I stepped onto the trail I was hit with an overwhelming sense of both pure exhilaration and immense calm. That first step into a completely different world of tough trekking, knee deep mud, cooking over an open stove, living solely with what I could carry and no connection to the outside world, impacted my life significantly. I now wait anxiously until I can venture back into the wilderness. Through this experience I learned to accept and appreciate the unknown. I now jump at the opportunity to have a new experience, to challenge myself, and to hopefully gain numerous insights I had not had beforehand.
I walked into my first Operation Smile meeting alone, facing a classroom of older girls. I had seen a video in school and had been inspired to do whatever I could to help the cause. I took this step with the knowledge that there is no harm in taking a chance, gained from my earlier camping experience. I became involved as soon as I could and that involvement has changed my life. Operation Smile has transformed me into a confident and proactive person who can visualize an event and make it happen. Through fundraising I have approached people for donations and been turned down. If I am persistent and continue to follow through, I will see results and am consistently reassured that taking a chance is worth putting myself out there. I have been forced to step out of my comfort zone numerous times with Operation Smile, and each time I find myself taking a chance I remember the summer of 2006 and how much good could come of taking a risk. I journeyed to the International Student Leadership Conference as a freshman only knowing one other person. I roomed with three strangers and joined a team of people I did not know. Again, I took a chance and will reap the benefits of that jump for the rest of my life. Operation Smile has challenged me and shaped my life.
I sit here five years later and I realize the tremendous impact of camp transcends both its New York boundaries and its eight week calendar. It impacts the lives of teenagers like me. These experiences at camp taught me to be open to change, to the possibility of both failure and success, and that anything, even something seemingly inconsequential, has the power to alter your life forever.
It says a significant experience. I think you mentioned hiking and Operation Smile. It might be better to focus on just one.
Apart from that, I don't see any grammar/ spelling mistake. Also, great work elaborating on the impacts the events had on you rather than just stating what happened!
