It has been repeated by those wise persons who have stepped before us and those who step along side us, wishing and hoping for us to do our best
you dont really need this, u can use the space elsewhere
intellectually, socially and mentally.
would u agree that intellectually is the same concept as mentally?
The message is a note worthy one
never heard 'note worthy' ... if u have then its fine ! , but if not u could say: The message is worth pointing out , or worth noticing
my local newspaper, El Correo
take out the comma
approach to learning
approach to education, or educating
After learning about the Bree mission
use 'reading' instead of learning, first cause it doesnt sound familiar, second that u mention 'learning' twice in that sentence
me to gain exposure to college
what does this mean?
At Bree I would encounter even more rigorous work than what I was undertaking in honors classes; still, I felt the experience would be worthwhile
the verb tense doesnt seem right here,u should say: at bree i encountered ...
as a result have been exposed to material of a high caliber
as a result I have ...
to ask questions of authors and classmates
do u mean ask questions 'from' authors?
I have conducted an experiment and written a scientific paper, learned how to find derivatives and pondered Hobbes' theory on the state of nature
make this more clear, a scientific paper on what? derivatives of what? im not sure if the reader will know about hobbes theory
to pursue Bree Queens as much as I did.
the 'as much as i did' part doesnt make sense, what do u mean?
good essay, i like how your expressions.
i hope my feedback was useful, in return can you comment on my essay?