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"I am the best, I am the champion" - Overconfidence and humility


Esaias 8 / 37  
Jan 27, 2010   #1
Prompt: Tell us about your academic goals, circumstances that may have had an impact on your academic performance, and, in general, anything else you would like us to know in making an admission decision.

I used to look at the mirror, repeatedly exalting myself, "I am a good person, I am a good person..."

Back then, I was a young adolescent, having too much self-confidence to an extent of egotism. Deep down I was trying to prove I was superior to others. Peer pressure drove me to impress my friends and I bragged about my qualities and achievements, thinking I was the best.

Success was easy at first. However, my grades dropped as the curriculum became more rigorous. I blamed it on laziness. It was a simple excuse to give up when discouraged. This process repeated and in the end my grades dropped badly. I was lost.

Fortunately for me, I had a good friend who pulled me out of this self-induced bubble, Tai Chu-leung. Tai taught me the meaning finding oneself when one is lost. I remember once when I bragged about my grades. He told me, "I just want to be honest. I am irritated by your bragging. Be humble. Remember there is always one mountain taller than another". I was deeply influenced by his words. From that day onward, I started to learn humility; it was Tai taught me to be content with myself, and to be genuinely "me".

I now believe true self-esteem comes from within, from being comfortable with yourself and content with who you are. Overconfidence is not good. I have seen its destructive impact on not only my academic performance, but also on me. I avoided it ever since by listening to constructive criticism and looking at past failures where I did not complete my intended goal. I have learned to be humble, to search on what I can improve and set challenging but achievable goals.

These goals include my wish to become a medical doctor - I acknowledge it is a challenging goal and I require preparation. I believe I can start by studying Biochemistry. I have the interest, I have the motivation, but more importantly, I now have the intellectual humility. I realize the limitations in my perspectives and I believe I can counter this by pursuing Biochemistry as it demands a systematic and objective approach in different angles.

With a new goal, I feel like a new person. As I pass by a mirror, I finally see a real reflection of myself. I may still be inadequate, but I am ready.

Whew! Finally finished my totally remade essay.

Please tell me what you think of it and how I can improve it.

Also, does it answer the prompt? I'm not sure if I should have talked too much about me and my values over academic goals and circumstances.
wasabipeaz 4 / 21  
Jan 27, 2010   #2
you sound exactly like me. and hahaha at one mountain taller than another. 一山比一山高 right?

and fulfilled with who you are.

fulfilled seems to be the wrong word.

I believe I can counter this by pursing Biochemistry

i believe this is a typo. pursuing .

I finally see a real picture of myself

mirror - not a picture! it's a reflection.
OP Esaias 8 / 37  
Jan 27, 2010   #3
Haha. my friend actually told me that, but in Form 2 ;). And you're right, its a Chinese adage! 一山還有一山高!!!

And yes, I actually changed the flow of my essay after being inspired by yours. I realised my focus shouldnt be all on academic goals and circumstances but something I can show the AOs (you reminded me: show not tell), but it's still was the same theme. It was hard to connect it all though. Nothing a few cups of espresso cant handle.

Thanks for the last minute proofread, you're a lifesaver. Gotta hand this in pronto after a few more reads.

Hey, by the way, do you have MSN or Facebook? Can I add you?
wasabipeaz 4 / 21  
Jan 27, 2010   #4
wait a few more corrections.

I used to look in the mirror
OR
I used to look at myself in the mirror

Try using "Fortunately for me, I had a good friend..." instead of "Luckily". "Luckily" just doesn't sound as nice.

I realize the limit of my own perspectives and I believe I can counter this ...

Um. Would it be better if you rephrased that? I can't really think of how, but something like
"I realize how limited my perspectives may be..."

haha!you're welcome. I'm actually overdue for UW, since I'm an international student, but i'm really going to just give it a shot anyway. Yeah, I have msn/facebook, but i hardly use it anyway. you could just search my name on fb.
OP Esaias 8 / 37  
Jan 28, 2010   #5
Go for it! As every school differs in policy, they'll take your application if it's not too far from the deadline.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 28, 2010   #6
It is excellent!
Let's put this all in a solid paragraph:

Back then, I was a young adolescent having with too much self-confidence to an extent of and egotism.

However, my grades dropped as the curriculum became more rigorous.

It was a very simple excuse to give up when discouraged.

This essay is so convincing! You are smart...


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