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"The best education" + "As we Americans" - UC ESSAY PROMPTS 1 & 2 - PHILOSOPHY MAJOR


g_sengupta 1 / 5  
Nov 30, 2010   #1
Prompt #1: What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

When I began my freshman year of college I had not even the slightest idea as to what I should major in. But the past year and half that I have spent at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo has led me down a long and arduous path of self-discovery, culminating in my decision to major in philosophy.

Although I never quite realized it, my passion for philosophy first began during my senior year of high school when I read books by Albert Camus and other existential philosophers. I was greatly intrigued by the different ideas of the world and of the human being's existence. Existentialism became a new hobby of mine and every so often I enjoyed reading excerpts from authors like Nietzsche or Sartre or Camus. However, I never thought to pursue the greater study of philosophy as my college major until more recently.

It was on September 20, 2010, that my younger brother's best friend died in a tragic car accident. He was only 18. For the first couple of weeks after his death, coping with this loss was unbearable. In everything I did I thought of life and death. I could not escape it. It was then that I turned to Plato. His philosophy on the soul and the afterlife helped me get past my anxiety and depression in such a dark time. As I kept reading Plato in my philosophy class, I developed an even greater interest in the subject matter. I soon moved on to Descartes and later Hume, none of which seemed to bore me. In fact, I have never felt as passionate about any other subject as I have about the works of such great philosophers. It was only then that I realized philosophy was my calling.

For the first time in my life, I have chosen a path for myself, one that will hopefully lead me to wisdom and push the boundaries of my intellect. Although I have enjoyed my time at Cal Poly and value my education here, I sincerely believe that the best way for me to reach my goals is through an education at a University of California. I know that with my strong motivation to succeed, my passion for philosophy and my thirst for mental stimulation, I can accept nothing less than the best education possible.

_____________________

Prompt #2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

As Americans, we live in a society of great fortune and economic prosperity. For most of us, we grow up believing that this is the way the world is. We are content with our daily routines, nothing out of the ordinary. But we rarely find the chance to wander outside of our own background, into a world vastly different from our own. Third-world countries-places where mere survival is the goal- are constantly overlooked and forgotten by us Americans. I am no exception. It was not until somewhat recently that I began to see the world from a different perspective, for what it really is as a world full of both fortune and poverty. In the past few years I have had the opportunity to visit a few impoverished areas of the world. Two years ago, I visited Thailand and most recently, this past summer, I ventured to Indonesia. To say the least, these have been some of the best and most rewarding experiences of my life. My trip to Indonesia began as a vacation with my cousin, but what I took away from it was so much more than just its beautiful scenery. On the outside, the Indonesian people were cheerful and extremely hospitable, but beneath it all were simply people trying to make a living by whatever means they could. For instance, I met a man who drove a taxi and made only dollars a day. He was missing his son's birthday to drive that car, but he did it all with a smile on his face because that is what he had to do. I even met a woman who climbed up the side of a volcano every morning with a basket of food balanced on top of her head, all to make barely enough money for her family to live off of.

Even as I look back on this journey, I still admire the strength of all of these individuals, and though many of them can barely read, I feel that they know so much more about actually living than I could ever imagine. Although they may not realize it, the people I met in Indonesia taught me a great deal about life and for that I am very lucky. From this experience, I have taken away a greater understanding and compassion for other people and cultures. It has showed me how to open my eyes to the world around me and I see more clearly now the adversity that others face on almost a daily basis just to survive. With years, I believe my outlook on life has matured and grown through my experiences. I can see past the materialism of the American lifestyle and realize how much more to the world there is. I refuse to be content with simply the society I live in today as I have a greater desire to keep learning and enhancing my intellectual experiences with other cultures and societies around the world.

________
For prompt #1, Should I talk about what I plan to do as far as career or my goals for the future?
For prompt #2, I am still not sure if my choice of topic is strong. Any comments?

i know its last minute but i would REALLY appreciate anyone's feedback! Criticism is much appreciated!! :)
zashkon 2 / 11  
Nov 30, 2010   #2
I think your first one is pretty solid.

About your second one though, I feel it would be stronger if you talked about a specific experience more in depth so the reader can get more a feel for the point you are trying to make, and to show how important it was to you. Try and cut down on the fluff as well, and stay more concise and straightforward. You don't want to repeat yourself too much.

Your grammar for both these essays seems good as well

Overall, I like where you are going with each of them. Good luck :]
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 15, 2010   #3
lol, oh well.

haha, thanks for your cool attitude about it, sorry. I fixed the spelling. Thread titles have to have key words associated with the topic. :-)

...unknowingly shape my views and my world. --wait a minute... the moments unknowlingly shape you? Um... if you are going to personify moments, you should precede this sentence with a sentence .. maybe a short one.. that in a clever way personifies "moments." That way, they can unknowingly do something.

Efficiency:
It was there that I met a man not much older than myself. His name was Mongo, who climbed that volcano

I like this essay a lot and don't know if I should suggest changes, because it is so inspired already... but here at the end, you can be more specific: I refuse to be content with simply the society I live in today as I have a greater desire to keep learning and enhancing my intellectual experiences I argue that you should not be vague here, because it is an opportunity to give the reader a glimpse of your future.

with other cultures and societies all around the world.---it's more powerful with fewer words.

:-)


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