The Best Squash - UBC Sauder Questions About Handling a Problem

Explain how you responded to a problem and/or an unfamiliar situation.

Hey, I was wondering if there is any way you could go through my 200-word UBC essay on the prompt "Explain how you responded to a problem and/or an unfamiliar situation. What did you do, what was the outcome, and what did you learn from the experience?" and give me constructive criticism?

Thanking you,
Alaana

I thought I was playing the best squash I had ever played, I was ranked 4th nationally, training to represent India but everything changed. I tore my ACL for the first time; July 14, 2016. For a few days, I was frustrated, angry, bitter but I was always resolved to get better until July 16th, 2017, a year later. I tore my ACL again and had to undergo another surgery. That's when I gave up. I had lost all routine and I felt unaware of what defined me. Soon, I became a guru of procrastination and a philosopher of self-pity. Until one day, I felt this irrefutable yearning to visit the squash court. Looking at the court reminded me of how squash had shaped me into the disciplined, dedicated person I used to be and I realized I have never been a quitter. Hours with my physiotherapist increased, training became longer and I focused all my energy into balancing squash with academics. This experience made me resilient, teaching me that although having a plan is good, when things don't turn out how I want them to, I need to be strong enough to find an alternative and make it work.

Well, this essay certainly impresses the reader. Being ranked 4th nationally as a Squash player means you could be an athletic asset to the university that you choose to attend. The fact that you faced a problem related to sports injuries, which you managed to overcome as time progressed shows that you are a responsible person who may have weak moments, but you certainly have your wits about you at all times, even when feeling weak and lost. The essay itself is good. However, I would like you include a reference to Squash towards the end. Did you go back to playing the sport? Are you still a ranking national player? How did you work your back as an athlete? These are important focus points that carry the same weight as your personal learning experience. Remember that the universities also look for potential athletically qualified students. Squash, in reference to your athletic abilities, may come in handy as you apply for admission to various universities and colleges.

That said, yes, you will need to revise the presentation to fit the word requirement. Shorten the negative presentation. Summarize that part so that you can focus on the recovery and lessons learned aspect in a manner that allows these to become the central focus of your presentation instead.

this essay was very impressive and you made the reader roll up with you but i did not get that you get the lesson or even how you overcome the challenge