becoming an NTU student
I realized that being a student at a top university like NTU is not an easy thing. But I believe that I can graduate with my efforts to become the best version of myself. The best version of me is by staying committed to being a person with perseverance, resilience, integrity, and always having any goals with good intentions. I have proven this commitment by always trying to be the best in school, playing an active role in social communities, such as family and church. I am also active in participating in competitions representing the school. For me, winning or losing doesn't matter. As long as I dare to try, try to give my best, and get up and fight again when I face failure.
Integrity and good will are some of the moral values that I hold dearly. For me, it would be a big mistake if I achieve my dream but it doesn't come from within myself. By working hard, being honest and having integrity, I will be confident and proud of what I have achieved. In the future, I have committed to be a useful person for others, especially for my parents and family who have supported me all this time. I want to make them proud and live up to their expectations.
I believe that becoming a student at NTU and finishing my studies later will be a big step in my life, in the process of becoming the best version of myself. There are many hopes, but of course there are challenges that I must face in achieving my goal of studying at NTU. One of the current challenges is financial difficulties. That's the main reason why I seek for scholarships that will be a booster for me, in achieving my life goals.
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It is difficult to assess this essay without the actual prompt that instructed how it should be written. From what I can tell, the essay focuses too much on what you want to be, but not who you are. Who you want to be does not mean you will be able to achieve this ideal self, which limits your ability to become a positive asset to the student community. You have good intentions when it comes to becoming an NTU student, but you do not really discuss how NTU will help you achieve your ideal version of yourself. Do not get me wrong, you show a strong desire to improve your personal character, but it does not explain why your percieved potential will help you as a student at the university. My review is based on a basic understanding of what a personal essay based on the "Best Version of Me" topic might be. Having access to the required prompt would have helped me deliver a more targeted review of your essay.
Providing the prompt would help assess more accurately. However, I can definitely tell the strong intention you have for applying and that you have a great value system that guides you. However, as mentioned above, I would advise that you capitalize on the tangible and measurable experience you have had that back up the claims you are making of achieving the best version of yourself to ensure a more powerful and compelling argument.
Oh thank you sir for your response. My apologies, for posting the thread without any prompt. The prompt is
NTU ESSAY ON VALUES AND BELIEFS
Describe, in less than 300 words the values and beliefs you hold strongly to, please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions
Thank you, hope for your understanding sir