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I was never the best Wordsmith ;University of Richmond Supplement Essay


hssenior 1 / 1  
Dec 1, 2012   #1
Hi, I have to submit this essay within a few hours. It's a supplement essay for the University of Richmond. The prompt was "Tell us about an experience in which you left your comfort zone. How did this experience change you?" It has to be 1-2 pages. If someone could please edit this very soon, that would be much appreciated. My essay is below:

Up until this moment in my life, I had trouble expressing my feelings through words. I was never the best wordsmith, so I was not able to do my experiences justice without being present to explain them. Yet for this essay, I am supposed to talk about one of my most personal experiences, which will be under the scrutiny of college admissions officials. I think that this process of talking about leaving my comfort zone in itself is my biggest moment of leaving my comfort zone.

I was a shy child when it came to making new friends. After elementary school, I had the friends that I believed would stick with me through the rest of my public schooling career. Likewise, when I had an assignment for English class to talk about myself, I had trouble. People that did not know me on a personal level would be reading an essay filled with my most personal memories. This troubled me, so sometimes I would make up an experience so no one would judge the real me.

Even when an English teacher grades a paper I wrote, I feel uncomfortable. What if they judge my personality because of a silly mistake that I talk about? Or even worse, they may not understand me. They would think that I am not writing from my heart, even though I am just not a skilled crafter of words. And what added to this torment was when my family members would read my essays and think they were not good enough. I felt that if my own family did not understand me through my writing, no one would.

However, when I started writing this essay, I realized that throughout the years, I had developed the skills necessary to come out of my shell. I'm ready to talk about my insecurities. This essay has given me the inspiration I needed to step out of the darkness of insecurity and into the light of facing my fears.

Even though I know a random college official will be reading this essay, I am okay with that. I am ready to open up to new people. I think that this is the most open I have been to anyone regarding my secret insecurities. I have always seemed confident in my writing. As a former English teacher once told me, if you sound insecure, people will know you are insecure. Therefore, I have tried my best to sound like a person who does not care what others think.

I now have the courage to write about the true me. I have never been open about this lifelong insecurity I have harbored. Ever since the second grade when I had my first writing assignment, I have not felt comfortable. When my mom edited my paper, she thought it was literary garbage that was written by an unintelligent kid. She did not need to say this to me, I understood this when she practically rewrote my entire paper. Because of this, I have never felt confident about my writing. Yet now, I know that I have a voice of my own.

I have pushed beyond my comfort zone in this essay. I learned that every individual has their own experiences and stories. I should not feel bad about myself for how I write, I have a unique voice. Writing is a common skill that is used in every profession, so I should be comfortable about my writing. Not everyone is born as an open book, ready for the world to view their insecurities. For me, I have always seen my writing as my personal property. Yet I now know that this is not true. People should not simply judge me by my experiences, that would be like judging a book by its cover.

dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Dec 4, 2012   #2
After elementary school, I had the friends that I believed would stick with me through the rest of my public schooling career.

After elementary school, I limited my friends to the ones in whom I could have had confidence that they would not leave me during my school career.

People that did not know me on a personal level

People who did not know me personally

Even when an English teacher grades a paper I wrote, I feelfelt uncomfortable.

... you are telling them something happened in the past... so keep it in past tense
icanfly1 - / 8 2  
Dec 4, 2012   #3
However, when I started writing this essay, I

ClichĂŠ'alert.
You should change that.


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