"To be better acquainted with economic and finance" - UC Prompt 1 (Business Economic)

What is your intended major?
Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment,

participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

Looking back into my younger days has showed me the important role my parents had played in my life. Back then, I would never have realized my parents significance in my life, but growing up had allowed me to understand and sympathize with my parents.

My parents rarely had time to spare for my brother and me, as they are fixated on earning money to support their children as well as other relatives in need of financial support. When I did have any contact with my parents, I would be in their office with three televisions programmed to Bloomberg, CNBC and other networks that cover business headlines and live coverage of financial markets and also many phones that always rings in orchestral unison as internet was not available in Indonesia back then. I began to develop interest in finance while spending time alongside my parents in their busy office. I would ask plenty of questions regarding the economic jargons used in the television and also regarding my parents' actions when they are communicating excitedly through the phone to their client or broker. Questions such as what are NYSE, NASDAQ and NIKKEI and the green and red arrows on the bottom of the screen that never fails to catch my attention. They would at times kindly explain to me in the hope to satisfy my curiosity and thus keep me quiet, but their vague explanations was never satisfying and I would continue eavesdropping on their financial conquest, while hoping to better understand the situation.

My workaholic parents paid little attention to me and my brother, but they have a way of making their love known to us sometimes through materialistic satisfaction but there are times they would bare naked and pure love for us. It was around this time when it dawned upon me that my parents had to maintain a mentally draining and physically suicidal routine for many years to support me. I was overwhelmed for their willingness to selflessly sacrifice themselves for others. Me still a kindergartener felt that my own parents have to be the coolest to have ever existed and inspires to be just like them.

At about the age of 16 and after my parents' long withdrawal from the stock market scene to focus on the family's business handed over to them by my grandparents; I would purchase my first stock share. My mother approached me with news of a plausible highly profitable stock from a growing plantation corporation in South-East Asia and if I might be interested. I instantaneously agreed and with my own petty savings I would purchase my first corporate stock. My mother now with plenty of time on her hand kindly took me as her "apprentice" and she would discuss to me the usual statistical pattern of any companies, local or international to predict their performance. With her guidance I had made a sizeable profit, but I had my fair share of bad judgment.

My desire to be better acquainted with economic and finance, also through exposure to finance and my wish to follow in the footstep of my parents made me decide to major in Business Economic.

Can anyone help me to proofread and suggest anything I should have change or tweak ?

Never write "has showed."
It is shown. But it is even better to bring it to the present tense:
Looking back into my younger days has showed shows me the important role my parents had played in my life.

Apostrophe: Back then, I would never have realized my parents' significance in my life, but growing up had allowed me to ...

My parents rarely had time to spare for my brother and me, as they are fixated on earning money to support their children as well as other relatives in need of financial support. ---rarely had time to relax with my brother and me... (time spent earning is time spent for you... so don't write it as though they had "no time to spare for you"... I know what you mean, but there is a subtle difference).

Capitalize Internet

...through materialistic satisfaction but there are were times they would bare naked and pure openly express love for us.

Me Still a kindergartener, I felt t hat my own parents have had to be the coolest to have ever existed and inspires to be just like them.

... follow in the footsteps of my parents made me decide to major in Business Economics .

:-)