Essay Topic
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
It was a sunny afternoon as I sat next to my sister on the bus ride home from school. I had this habit of looking out the window to view my house as the bus passed it and came to a stop at the end of the block. This time, however, was different. I looked out the window only to see a for-sale sign standing tall in the middle of our lawn. My jaw dropped and my heart raced, I could not believe what I was seeing. I knew this day would come but I had no idea it would be so soon. Not to mention so close to me finishing high school.
I was in the middle of my challenging junior year and now I had to worry about losing my house. The first thing that went through my mind was that I only had a few months until I took my AP Statistics test, the SAT, and the NYS Regents exams. Unfortunately, this house was up for a short-sale and was expected to sell within ninety days. There was no way I was going to let all this stress affect my grades. I knew that most kids in my situation would give up, would feel like school is not as important as a home, and would stress themselves out to the point where they did not care anymore. I did not want to develop that mindset. I had a future to prepare myself for and I had no desire to give up on my dreams. In fact, this obstacle aspired me to work harder.
I have always been a dedicated worker and for some odd reason, no matter what is going on in my life, I never let my school work slip. I live in a single parent household with my mom being the soul source of income. Money was always tight but there was no logical way she could run a whole house by herself. Occasionally, we experienced the electricity or the cable being turned off. It was never a pleasant time but we managed to make it through.
Throughout all this I have decided that I want to make a better life for myself. That whole time I maintained my A average, received perfect attendance, and scored a 4 on my AP exam. I am honestly proud of what I have accomplished. Fortunately, the house has not been sold yet, but could at any moment. However, what I have learned most of all is that you cannot rely on anyone. If I want something I have to do it myself, and cannot let anything stand in my way. This is why I would love to attend the University of Florida. I have no problem keeping my grades up and living on campus would give me that feeling of independence. I imagine college as an opportunity to start my life over and be the successful individual I dream of being.
This essay has 493 words. Do you think it's good enough? Is it what they are looking for? Should I just completely scrap it and start new considering it has a depressing feel? Thanks for reading it.
great essay. yours is similar to mine in that you discuss the characteristic at the end of the essay, which is what i did, but i was worried if that was okay so i guess it is
"In fact, this obstacle aspired me to work harder."
Should be "inspired" here.
"...being the soul source of income."
Should be "sole" here.
Overall nice essay. In your last paragraph you say that bettering yourself through education (ideally through FSU) is a way out of the poverty that you have faced. Then you say that you want to be accepted to FSU because you always have had a desire for learning. These two sentences seem to conflict a bit. Could you perhaps insert elements of learning earlier on in your essay in order to make it flow a bit smoother?
