'Bible study and fun activities' - Elaborate on an extracirricular activity.

Church isn't just a place where I attended on Sundays. Every summer my church has camp where they go on field trips and do fun activities every day. I volunteer as a chaperone and I have the responsibility of supervising a group of children for approximately six hours a day, five days a week. I learned a lot about responsibility. If a kid had to use the restroom, I made sure they went, If it was lunch time, I made sure that they cleaned up after themselves and threw away their trash. It made me a better person because the kids looked up to me and I had to set a good example and make sure they knew right from wrong. Despite all the fun activities, we were still apart of a church and had bible study every day for an hour. The bible studies helped educate the kids as well as myself. It was a very meaningful experience to me and helped me learn a lot about myself and I look forward to more opportunities like this in the future.

I'm going to guess that like you really enjoy church, but I felt as I read this that, especially at this part "If a kid had to use the restroom, I made sure they went, If it was lunch time, I made sure that they cleaned up after themselves and threw away their trash.", that it was more of a chore to you than something you did because you wanted to.

I suggest a short anecdote instead of simply stating what you did and spending more time on the impact rather than going on a tangent with this line "The bible studies helped educate the kids as well as myself."

Good Luck!

I'll take that into consideration. thanks (:

Hi, its great to know we shared the same experience. I think you convey your idea clealry, minor adjustments: "volunteered as a chaperone and I had the responsibility of supervising a group of children for approximately six hours a day, five days a week."