PROMPT: Flagler College strives to admit students who will excel and reach their full potential during their college/university experiences. Please provide an essay of at least 250 words that describes a single event or a single theme that defines your character and/or your aspirations.
I looked across the open waters draped by a pink sky on a warm night in early July. The roar of the busy city came to a light buzz as the night moved in and the rush of the day calmed. I was born in a simple suburban town of Independence, Missouri. The days never went this fast paced and the streets never held this character. It was my first trip to an iconic city I had only dreamed to see in postcards. Even my move to Sarasota, Florida in my early teens never gave me this rush. The polo clubs, golf courses, and palm trees were beautiful, but they never held this energy. There were hundreds of people who looked like they knew exactly where they needed to be with responsibilities, families, and ambition gleaming in their eyes. The city's name was not at the utmost importance to me but its deep character. There are hundred of cities like this with its own beautiful, unique personality. I was there to see family and it was my day to wander. After a full day of sights and sounds, immaculate architecture, and astounding new discovered city history, I was swept off my feet. The thing is that every major city holds a million stories. Art was upheld in so many different forms from the fashion in the shop windows to the graffiti on the building sides each crafted and individually cherished by the artist. There were people who fought for this city, who put their passion and ideas and heart into this city so they could put little girls from little towns like me in a daze. In some city one day I wanted my story to be a part of the one million others.
So as I walked along looking out in the water over this pink sky I looked at my family and sadly sighed, "I never want to leave this".
My father looked over at me and said the words I hold closest to my heart now, "You have your whole life ahead of you, Hanna. You control if you're leaving forever."
In that moment, I realized that my aspirations could be my reality if I tried hard enough. And this exact night, just months before I began my senior year of high school, I knew that many years from now I wanted to be living big city dreams. With this, I know Flagler will be a stepping-stone to help make this goal attainable for me in the future.
Hello Hannan
I have a twice of advice to you, please pay attention if you wish
It was my first trip to an iconic city (conj) I had only dreamed to see in postcards.
.....to connec one sentence and another, you should use conjunction=connecting word
I was there to see (pronoun)+family
.... i think you should use pronoun (my)
