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'Big colleges' - benefits of a diverse educational community


erinhcho 6 / 20  
Nov 25, 2009   #1
What do you consider the greatest benefit(s) of a diverse educational community?

Since I was young, I have had dreams of going to college. To be a college student means to have more freedom, live independently, gain responsibility, and meet many different types of people. It is also the final step before entering society.

The United States gives me many chances to acquaint with people from different cultures. Since my homeland is not a multicultural country, I did not really conceive to have relationships with people who were born in another country. I remember what my dad said to me, "You should think you are blessed, you can see the world with open eyes and you will have international experiences while preparing your honorable future."

I believe big colleges can give me more opportunity to meet variety people. Since college is a small country for student, and I discovered that a big college is perfect for me because I want to join a larger one so that I can find a larger pool of friends. I want to continue interacting with a diverse group of people, and it would be better prepare for my future after college. I am having great time with people in my high school and I think a big university can give me even more learning experiences in my life. I absolutely believe that Virginia Tech will give me a better opportunity to further my education, meet new people, and thoroughly enjoy becoming an adult.

i had to write less than 250 words.. this essay is exactly 250 words
should i delete some sentences?? i trimmed it for several times..
is this essay right for the topic?? do i have any grammar errors?
meisj0n 8 / 272 2  
Nov 25, 2009   #2
It is also a final step before entering society.
I felt I had arrived in a new world.
This state is so different from my home country.

"I believe big college can give me more opportunity to meet variety people. Since college is little country for student and I discovered that a big college is perfect for me because I want to have a larger pool of friends." Woah! total difference in tense/wording. big colleges* Since college is a small country for a student, I want to join a larger one so that I can find a larger pool of friends.*

I want to continue meetinginteracting with

OMG VIRGINIA TECH >_> AND KOREA :| -.- |: .-. lol. sorry I couldn't resist

You don't really mention, other than in a few lines, what you see as important in a diverse educational system/community.

note* are you applying through the common app?
OP erinhcho 6 / 20  
Nov 25, 2009   #3
thank you very much!
i fixed some errors and i agree that i didn't really tell about benefits in a diverse educational community
ohhh i am applying through applyweb (jmu and virginia tech use this system)
i am using common app for uva and w&m, but i don't think i am going to apply w&m
anyway! i deleted whole second part and could you read over again??
i am pretty sure that i have many errors in the second paragraph..
thank you thank you thank you <33 (i probably wrote an off-topic essay....T-T)

p.s. OMG VIRGINIA TECH >_> AND KOREA :| -.- |: .-. lol. sorry I couldn't resist << i was laughing at this sentence lol
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 27, 2009   #4
Since my homeland is not a multicultural country, I never really considered having relationships with people who were born in another country. I remember what my dad said to me: "You should think you are blessed, you can see the world with open eyes, and you will have international experiences while preparing your honorable future."

I think your first and third sentences are not helpful. Maybe you should just start with this sentence:
To be a college student means to have more freedom, live independently, gain responsibility, and meet many different types of people. The United States has given me many chances...


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