Hi everyone,
This is my essay for the Commonap question: (Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence. ) Please give me your honest opinions for it so that I can make it more interesting for the readers or what should be included or omitted or anything to improve it. Thank you for your help as I would like to quickly edit it. Thanks again!
A child's mind is his greatest storyteller, but even a master of tales need a legendary lore. Hence a monster is born when a heavy volume of "Greek Myths and Legends" tumbled onto my head like Isaac's apple.
It became a blissful alternative to the 8 years-old bible norm of Enid Blyton and Roald Dahl. I stepped into a time in Greece when fascinating and dangerous beasts nest in the wild, where impossibly perfect and romantic immortals pass down judgement atop the majestic Mount Olympus. My world became woven with threads of magic and myth. I often stared out at the window cleansed by rain and wondered amidst the thunder and lightning if Father Zeus is angered at my unfinished homework. Sometimes I would stare directly at the sun, (terribly blinding me in the process) hoping to glimpse Helios' chariot in that orb of sheer brilliance. I only relent in the belief that a mortal can never see an Olympian in all his glory.
I would come to realize the art of doodling and passions for all things Greek prove a deadly combination. My teachers would often glance disapprovingly while I was hard at work, in this case applying artistic graffiti to my books, of which my greatest accomplishment was a barely humanoid figure I called Heracles with a pompous "The Greatest Hero in all of Greece!" sprawled unceremoniously on the line where my answer to Question 4 should be.
My contemporaries would often express wonder at my worship of such mythological beings and out of goodwill persuaded me to memorize fractions instead of every detail of the 12 labors of Heracles. Alas valiant warriors like Math and Science tried to slew the beast Hydra that held my mind and instead fell to its fangs. The more I try to stamp out this enveloping love for Greek mythology, the more heads sprouted from the Hydra.As I marvelled at the exploits of Odysseus's epic homecoming and Orpheus clever outwitting of the devious sphinx, my young mind tentatively transcribes these deeds of courage, cunning and triumph, resolving to accomplish feats of similar magnitude and have my tales to be sung on the lyre by the likes of Homer. Indeed I was so hopelessly enamoured by these wonderful tales like the many suitors of Aphrodite. Hence I embarked on a journey to achieve heroic glory, and started small with medals for sprinting and short put like a Greek athlete should and took to books to grant me the wisdom of Athena, all in the grand scheme of being worthy to be invited to Mount Olympus. I spend my evenings waiting fervently to open the mailbox, peering for a letter from Hermes or a ride from Pegasus.
Although I come to realize even immortals can dim by the hands of time, when I begin to shoulder the burden of the sky (school) like Atlas. Stories are forgotten while formulas are learnt and I come to see that gods and heroes are just as flawed and imperfect as mortals (and Olympus is NOT the tallest mountain), capable of emotions and wrongs. Yet I never moaned those times when I see the siege of Troy through the eyes of Achilles, I can still hear Athena's whisper of the Gods' faith in me. The belief that I can reach for the skies is that gift of fire that Prometheus bestowed to mankind. Some things in me just never die, that's why they are legends.
My friends would often express wonder at my worship (sounds awkward if you say contemporaries...)
I think you were really enamored by Greek mythologies, which would explain for the heavy analogies and allusions.
Some may say you should consider if you are going overboard when using figurative languages;however, I think you moderated your use of figurative languages.
Hence a monster is born---Replace "is" with "was"
down judgement atop ---replace with-down judgement from atop
Wow, you really brought back my memories of greek mythology. i too was in love with it, although i probably came nowhere close to matching your level of infatuation.The only change that i would recommend is that you remove some of the superflous references you have made in your essay( although they make the essay more engaging, your main priority should always be to answer the prompt) and add a bit more about the specific ways in which you were influenced by your love of grrek culture and mythology. Thanks a lot for bringing back some timeless childhood memories...GOOD LUCK
Please look over my commonapp ideas and suggest the best one
Hey tks guys!
I also need help with my Yale supplement question ( I have 2 versions of answers for the questions, can anyone help me edit and improve and see which one is better or scrap both and write a new one?:
Why Yale:
V1.
Yale is a haven for traditions, and it has thrived under the nourishments of traditions into a towering oak tree from which many young saplings emerge to spread their roots in the vast fields of the world.
Yale is a cradle of legacies, where families are transformed into households propagating a distinct essence of excellence, true "blue-bloods" they are.
I intend to write a few lines on the charter of proud traditions that Yale have upheld within those hallow halls: the traditions of private late night pizza parlour, the traditions of picnics and whimsical nonsense of counting the rain of autumn leaves, the traditions of flooding arenas with azure blue. "Bulldog! Bulldog!" The call of home.
To be a drop in that ocean, to bath under light and truth.
V2.
Yalies are not academicians; they are artists, absolute worshipers of both tangible and intangible details. They inspired a bold, Spartan direction in symbolic imagery. Take "Yale" for instance, 4 letters suffice to convey a reverberating feeling of power and legacy. I too am a dedicated student in the art of delivery. To deliver the maximum impacts of words and sway the judgement of others is the Enlightenment attained from sitting beside mountains of books than a Bo tree. Mark Antony, Martin Luther, even Hitler sat down and gave me their two cents. Yale blue is a language of the world, it is what I see when I look to the sky.
