Need to cut down characters/words and MAJOR grammar check! =(
will edit yours if you edit mine thanks!
Essay #1: In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe your best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community. (character available 4000)
After spending countless nights researching, I have concluded that Boston University and Boston fits my kind of personality which is - if I can say without complimenting myself too much - big, creative, and friendly.
Commanding a height of five foot and ten or eleven inches and smiling on the top row for almost all my class portraits, I think I have a reason to call myself "big." I understand why some ladies consider being called "big" an offense, but I find it one of the greatest words to compliment a person. Not only do I describe myself physically big, but I dream big, think big, and do everything big. Maybe I accumulated this "big" frenzy because I grew up in a big city, attended big schools, and have a big family. I have been accustomed to big things in the past and present, so naturally I expect big things in the future, which is why I look to BU. According to Wikipedia.org, Boston University is "one of the largest private universities in United States." Great. It sounds like a big school like my high school, which means more people to meet, more opportunities to take on, more majors to choose from, and more of everything. Plus, I think every sensible person would describe Boston as a big city, which is great since I am used to the big city world - the restaurants, the traffic, the garbage, the diversity, the energy, and the wealth of culture! Boston and BU seem like a big community with big things waiting for every big person. I am eager to live in this big community (like the enormous 1800-student Warren Towers) and start another big BU family and contribute big to the school in the future.
I remember when my middle school English teacher told me that I was as creative as Leonardo DaVinci, and everyone in my class agreed. One day last summer, I visited this English middle school teacher to help her with her bulletin board. I always thought her bulletin board was really plain-looking and needed more color. Before I "remodeled" it, the board was just a tan piece of paper messily stapled to the wall. After I "remodeled" it, I decorated it with a colorful border, alternated the colors of strips of paper, and cut out cherry-looking shapes to paste over the board. After I showed my work to my English teacher, she announced that she had such a good-looking bulletin board that she knows her co-workers would be jealous of ad that she will not want to paste any of students' work over it for awhile. I like doing everything as creative as possible. I like creative art, creative writing, creative thought, creative clothing, creative music, creative things. I think the BU community can support my strong creative vibe. From what I read and heard, BU has a very creative community especially being around the Allston neighborhood. I have always dreamed to go to the "Allston Rock City" and a chance to meet all the artists and musicians there. As a BU student, I will channel my creative energy to enriching the community's culture and ways like thinking up new school events and having revolutionary ideas.
My favorite day of school is always the first day of school. At the closing of every summer, I look forward to the day when everyone would be like "Hello! My name is blank. What's yours?" I love meeting and getting to know new people. Even when I am in a rush, I would always try to stop and have a chat with someone, so my friends have often termed me as "the friendly person." I love conversation, and I try not to exclude people from any discussions. I believe my bubbly character would help contribute the BU community because it would help the community be more tightly connected. I always like to make sure everyone I am talking to knows each others' names, and I love introducing my friends to as many people I know.
So for a big girl like me with big dreams and big creative outlet for my future big family at BU, I am eager to meet everyone in the big BU community and make our big dreams come true!
I love this essay! your bubbly attitude and unique personality are really do (as fa359 said) shine through!!
There are some minor grammatical errors here and there, but after a while, they start piling up. Little things like "I like doing everything as creative[ly] as possible" (actually, i would change everything to things, but that's just me)and simple typos like "ad" instead of "and" in the eleventh line from the bottom. try printing it out and going over it with a red pen. i find that helps with finding typos and grammatical errors a lot.
good luck!! I'm applying to BU too! Hopefully, we'll both get in and maybe we can meet each other one day, haha! (that sounded a little creepy lol)
hoped it helped!~
Lovely!
I would recommend you cut down few "big" and "creative". After a while, the tone gets monotonous if you freuently repeat some words.
like creative art, creative writing, creative thought, creative clothing, creative music, creative things.
that was a bit overdose of creativity.
I remember when my middle school English teacher told me that I was as creative as Leonardo DaVinci, and everyone in my class agreed.
Well, with no offense, to me it sounds little pretentious.
, so my friends have often termed me as "the friendly person"
"the friendliest person" or "friendship freak" would sound more obvious.
Rest is amazing.
Check out mine if you have time :)
Ok, well I believe most grammar issues were addressed by previosu posters. So, I will deal with the content matter of your essay. I found your message and voice to be outstanding. Its very rare that I see one of those "Compare yourself to your college" essays pulled off well. However, you excelled in it. I don't really think you have much to change in terms of your message as it really is outstanding. GOOD JOB
