Please help me with this Stanford essay. Any comment or suggestion is highly appreciated! :)
Prompt: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate -- and us -- know you better. (250 word limit.)
Hello Roomie,
My friends teased me that every time I blasted into laughter, my mouth occupied half of my face. They could even number my decayed teeth before I pulled back my lips. Though we do dramatize each others' follies a bit, the big-mouth guffaw is indeed one of my symbols that you should know. Even in front of hardships, I made conscious efforts to laugh out loud at the jocular remarks. To me, bubbling laughter has the magic to permeate from face to heart. When I laugh, my face naturally tilts upward and accordingly, the troubles at my hands get out of my sight. I hope with my big-mouth laughter, we can savor the merriment in life together.
If you encounter such heartbreak that my big-mouth laughter cannot infect you, you're always welcomed to cry on my shoulder. But I have to apologize that I may not be a qualified company when you cry. It has occurred several times that when comforting my friend, I started to shed tears myself and ended up crying even louder - I have a little too much empathy. But surprisingly, my friends tell me this is another reason they like about me - always understanding and caring for people around.
As you can see, I go straight in expressing my feelings and if you can do this to me too, I believe we can interact smoothly.
Yours,
Sixian Yi
I have fun reading your essay. Just a small recommendation "But surprisingly, my friends tell me this is another reason they like about me - always understanding and caring for people around. " you should revise somehow because "always understanding and caring for people around" already means "empathy"
