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Biofuel Research Program/ Metro Magic Lacrosse;Common App- Summer Activity(2 options)


jmg 1 / 4  
Jan 10, 2013   #1
I have two options for a short essay on my extracurricular activities. Only problem is its due today, so, please, any comments or help in deciding/editing either one would be greatly appreciated.

Question: In the space available discuss the significance to you of the school or summer activity in which you have been most involved.

Option 1

I'm sitting in the back of my school, covered in stale algae, trying to hold a graduated glass jar up to a torrent of pond scum. It's flowing out of the mass of tubes and plywood I designed, and while I wipe the hair from my eyes, I smear emerald green froth across my forehead. As I carry the samples across the grass and back into the lab, it's hard not to think that science shouldn't be this messy. But I've learned recently that leading your own project is often a well-planned mess. I've been working on developing clean biodiesel from algae since I started taking Research last year and now head the Biofuel Research Program. I enjoy research because it gives me a chance to apply what I've learned in science; I used physics and math to design the container, chemistry to implement the reactions, and biology to grow and care for the algae. Most importantly, it allows me to work independently and to solve problems on my own.

Option 2

I've been on a travel lacrosse team, Metro Magic Lacrosse, since sixth grade, and although I haven't ever been the flashiest or best player, it has taught me two of the most valuable things I have ever learned.

One, make the goalie look good. Nothing you do as a defender is more important than protecting your goalie. Take-aways and interceptions are important, and noticeable to recruiters on the sidelines, but your team can't win if you hang your goalie out to dry. (I might be biased in this theory though, considering my goalie is my best friend)

Two, when you're by yourself, reach out. I spent a lot my school breaks during high school at lacrosse camps and clinics where I didn't know a single other person. This was especially hard with my fear of introductions, and I used to get stomach pains just remembering my lonely freshman year mealtimes. This past summer, however, I had a different kind of stomach pain; it was the pain of realizing I might never play with these same people again.
dajenki3 1 / 1  
Jan 10, 2013   #2
Option 1 is well written. I suggest just explaining why "developing clean biodiesel from algae" is so important to you.
As for option 2 I can tell it means a lot to you. You're able to go into more detail of its importance to you. I like this option better.
jenarevalo15 2 / 7  
Jan 11, 2013   #3
I like the second one better because it shows the passion you have for lacrosse. I think that the real you shines more the option two.


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